i have tried to turn over a new leaf; i am trying to cut down on the number of people or groups i hate. i am trying to be a calmer nicer person. i am counting to ten and being reasonable, being empathic, trying to see things from other people’s point of view rather than just jumping to conclusions and just hating.
by cutting down on my personal parade of hatred i will be making the world a slightly better place for everyone. i know, i know – but there is no need to thank me. you just need to follow my example.
however like any major undertaking you have to start slowly.
so i am not trying to expunge my hatred of the conservative party, or people who stand in doorways and get sniffy when you ask them , politely, to move, or those people who use umbrellas but have no regard for other users of the pavement. this also holds for cyclists who not only ride on the pavement but seem to think that pedestrians are the ones who are the hindrance.
also i am not trying to soothe old personal hatreds of people i have known. call me petty but some fires smoulder on.
for all of that i have managed to find a new group of people to hate.
to hate with a burning passion.
i give you the supermarket bargain hunters.
as you probably know after a certain time supermarkets reduce the price of some of their food. tesco’s are the best for dropping their prices – they often slash their prices, for some odd reason sainsbury’s just knock a bit off. every now and then you can get a tasty bargain or two. it is always worth a look.
or it would be if it wasn’t for the fucktards who hover around the area while the staff are pricing the goods up and putting them on the shelves. they stand like an impenetrable wall – saddam could have learnt lessons from them when he was erecting his human shields, there are coaches of premiership football teams who wish their ‘walls’ at free kicks were as disciplined.
they stand there and they wait.
they stare at the shop assistant, giving the evil eye and geeing them on, lips moving telling them to get a move on. the stare at the pile of produce thinking about what they want from the pile, like wild west gunslingers they are ready to draw their prized produce from the shelf before it has left the assistants hand.
there is a mix of fear and loathing in the eyes of the assistant – this is punishment duty. the waiters can smell the fear and that just spurs them on. hands shaking the new price tags are printed up and placed on the food and put on the shelves.
some food is snatched up right away. fair enough they have been staring at it long enough while they wait for it to be priced up.
then comes the second phase – where my real hatred begins to kick in.
the assistant has gone back to the safety of giving wrong directions to where the processed peas are being stocked this week.
now begins the phase where the bargain hunters loiter and check everything, and then check it again, and one more time to be sure. they remain an impenetrable wall. sometimes there will a couple there and they will discuss if they really want that ready meal that has had 75p knocked off its original price. or maybe they will wonder about the calorie content of the cold meats they have picked up. do they need that box of yogurt that is going for half price?
items are picked up – contents are read – items are put back – picked up again, as if they had never seen a sainsbury’s cheese sandwich before, or if the concept of a cottage pie ready meal is really the latest thing in food technology.
surely to all they hold dear it can’t be that hard to work out whether or not you want the food on offer at the price they are offering it. it really can’t be something that needs to be discussed that much or mulled over as if it were the purchase of a new family car.
it’s food on sale you arsewipes – do you want it or not?
shit or get off the pot.
or should be – for this breed of people it is not – they can’t make that choice; they have to dwell, mull, meditate and ponder. just buy it already.
then there is the person who will just buy it all because it is a bargain and then at the checkout complain that have been charged 20p too much when they have just bought £30 worth of food for £2.40.
so these bargain prevaricators are my current hate group.
they are on a par with all those people who always seem surprised that they need a ticket to go through the barriers at tube stations or to get on buses and wait until they are right there before they start to look through their bags to find their tickets. yeah i hate you lot as well.
look i never said turning over a new leaf was going to be easy – but i think you will agree that at least i am keeping my hate groups to deserving groups.