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Monday, November 29, 2010


of the many things i am not good at: being sensible with money and being competent at maths come very high at the top of the list. which on the face of it means i should have been an irish banker.

today the office of budget responsibility (obr) have announced that there will be fewer public sector jobs lost than they previously forecast.
this is good news.
in fact it is great news.

though it seems to me, on a philosophical level, to call into question the whole point and purpose of organisations such as the obr.

why (or even how can i say such a thing given my earlier admission) do i say this?
the obr last did their forecast in june of this year, already they have changed it. they will more than likely change it in a few months.
the irish banks are suffering - yet just reccently they passed a 'stress' test from the european central bank.
the oecd will say one thing this week and change their minds next week. the imf will say this and then say that.
economic forecasting isn't so much an a science, it is more a dark art.

as robert chote, the chairman of the obr says: "there is considerable uncertainty around any economic forecasts".

don't know about you, but that fills me with confidence.

Friday, November 26, 2010


there are times when you just have to stand up and be counted.
there are times when you have to make your voice heard.
there are times when protest is the only way to make your point.

this is one of those times.
the world is changing and not for the better. it is getting worse and there is little chance that there will be light at the end of the tunnel. the news is full of it, chat shows are full of it: we live in dire times.

what has brought this on?
simply that the powers that be have attacked, yes i say attacked our liberties, our freedoms, the very things that make us proud to be alive.

yes ofcom have struck against the media company bang channels limited - creators of such works of art as tease me tv, tease me, tease me 2 and tease me 3. claiming that they had breached rules which protect viewers from offensive and harmful material. according to ofcom there were 60 rule breaches in 18 months. is that all? hardly worth getting your panties in a bunch.

whatever happened to freedom of speech? whatever happened to artistic freedom?

i tell you if they go against babestation (featuring the lovely jada) then there will be a revolution i tell you, a revolution.
me and the girls from babestation - on the barricades. (shep - stop sniggering at the back.) (it could happen.)

(on a slightly serious note ofcom also cite harm to children from watching this sort of material - frankly you have to ask just what are the parents doing?) (shep - i told you to stop sniggering.)

Thursday, November 25, 2010


i think the person who said this is a total utter cunt.

"we're going to have a system where the middle classes are discouraged from breeding because it's jolly expensive.

"but for those on benefits, there is every incentive. Well, that's not very sensible."

stand up and take a bow: howard flight.

i guess we shouldn't be surprised that a new tory peer would say such a thing, after all we are getting a good idea just what they think of the poor (pretty much that that are an annoyance but a necessary evil).

of course what it also implies is that the middle classes were only having kids because they were getting state benefits, now that those benefits have been cut they are giving up having children. quite how that makes them different from the benefit class is never explained.
from his comment it seems that it ok to claim benefits if you are middle class, but it is bad to do so if you are actually in need of benefits.
it is logic that befits someone who was a banker (and who at one point held 13 city directorships - c'mon how on earth does anyone get value for money from someone who has more than 13 jobs?).

still give him his due - when it comes to his niece and nephew he is critical of the state expecting students to pay their way in university - dash it all don't they know it really does muck up middle-calss expenses.

as is the way of modern politics lord flight has issued an "unreserved apology" (with the now obligatory 'comments taken out of context' caveat).

so i now give an unreserved apology to lord flight for anything that i deem to have been taken out of context.

Monday, November 22, 2010


right now pleasure is enjoying a home made curry (not cooked by me, of course) and watching episodes from the second series of battlestar galactica, which in my humble opinion is the best science fiction tv there has been.

(another short one for richard.)

(oh and for the casual reader here is a "public wank".)

Sunday, November 21, 2010


it is supposed to snow this week.
ok i read that in the daily mail, so the chances of it actually happening are very slight.

it is quite cold right now. so right now i am going to eat another curry, it will be spicy and it will lead to some interesting noises later on. it will also be tasty.

oh two signs that the recession is hitting east london.
the local (naughty) massage parlour has closed down.
the local pizza hut restuarant has closed down.
i am pretty sure that the two events are not linked by anything other than the fact there is not as much money around as there used to be.

Saturday, November 20, 2010


today this blog was found by using the search 'public wank'.
i am beginning to understand my audience.

Friday, November 19, 2010


the 'star wars' missle defence concept so beloved of the american's has come a step closer. today nato announced the creation of a missle defence shield that will cover all nato members (and maybe russia, if they want).
"it offers a role for all of our allies. it responds to the threats of our times," president obama said.
it will be interesting to see how big a role the allies get when it comes to building it, or will the main role be to pay for it. of course the main role for the european allies is to be the first target in any attack against said missle defence - europe is the united states shield.
threats of our time? guess that means north korea and iran, maybe just maybe pakistan and china. natually enough the missle defence shield will be pretty useless against two very serious threats of our times: cyber attacks and terrorism. the usa might like to launch a missle or two at bin laden, but they don't know where he is and the next time irish republican dissidents decide they are going to threaten the british mainline that missle defence shield is going to be of great use.

european missle defence shield: america's first line of defence.

Thursday, November 18, 2010


my pal richard has complained my blogs are too long.
so: hello richard.


i have fallen in love with the self-service tills in my local sainsbury's. i know i shouldn't use them as i am leading to fewer and fewer staff in the stores.
i had an item that had a sell off price.
scan it once.
scan it a second time.

ok will have to key in the barcode.
half way through entering the very long code and i am asked if i want to continue. yes!
oh now i have to start keying in the code. again.
two thirds of the way through the very long code and i am asked if i want to continue. yes! you mechanical fucker, yes i do.
oh! back to the start. again.
get the code in. at last! wrong digit sequence. you dirty evil shit sucking piece of metal.
ok. ok. calm down. you can do this. it is just a code (a very very long code) it isn't everest, it isn't rocket science it is just a sodding code (and not even the da vinci one).
calm. breathe. relax. perform.
tap. tap. tippity tap tap. repeat. repeat. repeat.
cheap food.
only took 15 minutes.
sodding hell.


there i was listening to a radio news story about the trapping of anti-matter, chin stroking along as if i understood what was going on.
a professor of physics was doing his best to explain. he mentioned that his class today was very excited by the news. he was asked by the interviewer "how do physics students show their excitement? do they whoop and holler?"

the professor replied: "they smile and look interested."

that explains a lot.


"so called recession"
"never had it so good"
"but these are people who think they have a right for the state to support them."

so says lord young of graffham. lord young is not part of the government, though he is an adviser to david cameron. he is entitled to his opinion, and thanks to the daily telegraph we are all aware of his opinion. guess what a lot of people are not happy with his opinion.
including the conservative party who, it seems, have encouraged lord young to issue a very full apology.

the problem is lord young has pretty much let the cat out of the bag: for a certain type of conservative, they don't care. they have never cared and they will never care.

david cameron is thinking that he might ask the good lord to change his name to lord young of gaffham, and hoping that the next time he opens his mouth he doesn't stick his foot in it.

meanwhile nick clegg has his head in his hands and is sobbing in a dark room.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010


two big announcements today - both will bring happiness to the multitudes.
first you have the future wedding of willy and kate.
then you have the beatles on i-tunes.
truly today is fucking wonderful.

this is just what cameron wanted when he announced that the government is about to try to measure happiness. david cameron says that happiness is more than just money, it is things such as the arts, the local community, sports and thinking happy thoughts.

"We should be thinking not just what is good for putting money in people's pockets but what is good for putting joy in people's hearts." says david cameron. 

a couple of things come out of this. 
one putting joy in people's heart, is probably seen by cameron and the paternalistic con/dems as being cheap. 
two that if you are a millionaire you probably don't worry about money that much. 
and finally talking about making people happy might be a little easier if you weren't cutting public services, cutting funds to artistic organisations, to educational establishments. 

still a smile doesn't cost, but sometimes it really is all about the economy, stupid!


today this blog was found by the search string 'enema public humiliation'.

i am happy to provide a service.
i am a little hurt though, as they never say thank you.

Monday, November 15, 2010


you are fat because...
two stories that give yet more reasons why people are fat.

on the bbc it is because fat people are better at smelling food. a keen sense of smell impels you to eat even when you are full. yup that works for me. everytime i go into my local newsagent the aroma of twix is overwheliming.
still the solution is cheap and easy: i present the fat peg (expect me soon on dragon's den with this). it is a large pink (for piggy) peg. the business ends will have strong but soft arms that will keep the nostrils closed. breathing will have to be done through the mouth. double fatbusting here - no smell, no desire, mouth needed for breathing no time for chewing. watch the pounds fall off.
of course a few of you are thinking but that will look silly - but no! attach a pair of sunglasses to the pegs and instant fashion accessory! maybe have the peg linked to a jaunty, but dangerously perched baseball cap and wow oh wow fashion statement (you lose weight, but never lose your hat - tres cool).

the mail on the other hand have pointed out that some scientists have found the greediness gene (i am sure they are working with dan brown to turn it into a highly successful novel/movie). just as it says the greediness gene makes us greedy. being greedy means we eat more, we eat more we become fat, fatter, fattest.
this is an important breakthrough because by finding the greediness gene they can create drugs to combat it (and not that i am being cynical here, surely with that knowledge certain foods can be adjusted to make us be even more greedy for them - i think twix bars have already been tampered with). it is even more important in the uk because a quarter of all adults are obese, and this is the highest in all of europe.

funny how that greedy gene seems to have ended up in the uk and the usa. just how does that work?

still as i sit here typing this i am happy to know that i am fat, not because of me, but because of things beyond my control.

(porky pegs will be on sale in the new year, get your orders in now.
terms and conditions will apply, other fat busting gadgets are also available.)


close to 3am, still up.
crikey it is chilly. time to get under the duvet and dream warm dreams.

Sunday, November 14, 2010


while watching the bbc’s, excellent, coverage of the remembrance day services i was struck by a thought.

in many ways the massed ranks of the ex-servicemen and women marching past the cenotaph were living examples of david cameron’s ‘big society’.

on the radio a serving officer remarked that remembrance day remained necessary not just because we should remember those who had given their lives for their country or ideals, but it also serves as a warning to our leaders: war has a cost and they should think very carefully before asking others to pay the costs.

the asking others is the crucial part. do you remember when michael moore was questioning whether elected politicians or political pundits were prepared to see their children enlist to fight the iraq war? his point was that voting for and defending a war where you had no personal ties to it was easy. the same could be said of our political leaders.

i am not suggesting, ala robert heinlein, that if you have not served in the military then you are not able to be a ‘citizen’ and so can’t vote or run for politics.

however there is some merit in the idea. it also has wider implications, while tying into cameron’s ‘big society’.

one of the many criticisms that are thrown at politicians is that they are out of touch with reality. one of the reasons for that for many of our politicians are career politicians having worked for the party or a think tank before becoming a member of parliament. it is true that having a vocation is a wonderful thing, there is also a case where it means your view of life is very narrow.

i don’t want my elected leaders to be just like me, but i want to know that they have had similar experiences to me. i want to know that they have rubbed shoulders with the rank and file and not have them thinking that just because they don’t wear a tie with their shirt and jacket that they are somehow like us.

this isn’t just about those with a very privileged upbringing pretending to know how hard the rest of us have it, this is about all politicians.

my proposal is a simple one: if you want to become an elected official then you should have done some sort of service before you entered politics. no think tanks, no consultancies, no working for the party. a real job and preferably one where you are giving back to society: teacher, nurse, doctor, police service, fire service, magistrate, ambulance driver, social worker … well you get the picture.

i want to know that those who legislate on our behalf have more than a passing idea of the experience of the rest of us. i want to know that they have spent time with people who are not political wonks or media mavens. i want to know that they have been half way decent in a career outside of politics.

power will always rest in the hands of a few. when it comes to what rupert murdoch wants and what we want the chances are we will lose out, however the balance might swing a little our way if our elected representatives had spent several years being a little more like us.

abraham lincoln spoke of government of the people, by the people, for the people as politics has become a career for many we have moved away from that simple formulation, perhaps david cameron’s talk of ‘the big society’ is the start of bringing it back.

true it would be an unexpected consequence of the idea, as i don’t expect to see cameron, clegg or miliband giving up their weekends to work the local soup kitchens (though lord knows there is soon going to be a need for them). perhaps the one thing we will be thanking david cameron for is that we will all begin to hold our politicians to account, we will want to know how and why they vote, what they are doing in their local communities and why they are not communicating with the electors.

perhaps by holding our members of parliament up to scrutiny, reminding them that they are there for us and not for them we can honour the sacrifice of the glorious dead.

Saturday, November 13, 2010


cameron and his cronies (the camerloons) have made a big song and dance about 'making work pay'. they want to break the benefit culture. it is a noble idea (and in essence it isn't that much different from the tax credit system brought in by new labour).

in short ian duncan smith (ids) wants to get people back to work, oddly there are times when i do think that ids wants to do it for the right reasons, and then there are times when i remember he is a tory. his solution is that when someone who is unemployed gets a job (the unspoken here is that most of the jobs that people will be getting will be part-time) their benefits are not removed quite as quickly as they are now. in effect the state will be subsidising the low pay of commercial enterprises. makes sense to me.

yet for all of the 'we want to break the benefit culture attitude' that the tories spout the one thing that they don't seem to want to address is the question of pay. most of us believe in a fair day's work for a fair day's pay. so while more and more jobs seem to be paid at a rate that is just above the minimum wage there seems to be no issues with prices going up.

today british gas have announced a 7% increase in their prices (odd how it always goes up just when people start using gas and electric the most, even odder how quickly energy companies respond to an increase in wholesale prices, but how slow they are when the wholesale price drops). this will be compounded in january when the new vat rate kicks in. january will also see the price of public transport increase (an annual event - do you remember when thatcher sold all this lot off how we were told it would be more efficient and prices would be lower).

all in all a lot of people can look forward to a worsening standard of living and the situation where for a great many work isn't paying because the price of everything is going up.

not to worry i am sure ids and the camerloons are already in talks with someone like balfour beatty to build a whole new range of workhouses for the poor to live in.

Friday, November 12, 2010


she has been compared to nelson mandela.
the people of burma refer to her as 'the lady'.
she has been under house arrest for most of the last 20 years.
some see her as the mother of burmese democracy.
a nobel peace prize winner. extolling the virtue of peaceful protest.
some have argued that her strong principles have hindered the democratic process, others have said that by her unwavering stance she has denied legitimacy to the military leaders.
it is possible that tomorrow (saturday) that aung san suu kyi will be released from her house arrest, if only for a short time until the government can trump up more charges against her.
aung san suu kyi's freedom is a thing to be celebrated - it will bring hope to the burmese people and it may also bring hope to all those people around the world who are also engaged in peaceful struggle (please take note students).

while all of this is of international significance, and given all her virtues of strength, principle and integrity more inportantly is that aung san suu kyi is a total hottie. i admit that her babeliciousness probably isn't high on the list of reasons to free her, but i am just saying it should be.

is that so wrong?

Thursday, November 11, 2010


i would be the first to admit that my blog is not essential reading (even for me).
i like to think that my, few, readers derive some pleasure from it.
i also think that the power of the blogosphere is overrated (though i suspect i would quickly change my mind if i was told that my blog was being turned into a book, or even better a film with bruce willis and danny dyer as the stars, with a guest role for jason statham - i have quite worked out the narrative thread of the movie yet, give me time).
however i do derive a certain sense of satisfaction from doing this.

recently blogger has allowed me to check my statistics - mostly depressing reading.
one of the things i can see is what people have used to find my blog. i thought i would share with you.
so here they are - the magic words that bring people to me....

a video of a person having an enema from beginning to finish

turd "to be proud" flushed
bilara having an enema 
briana banks
dsm+hdd1 датчики
(ok it looks like people are able to associate me with being a perve. what do you mean if the cap fits....)

iampat!!! (just have to love those exclamation marks - i am all about the exclamation mark!)
isabel spearman
(at least these three make it sound like they were searching for me or interested in my thoughts on sensible subjects) enema pain
(and this one just has me all a google at the idea that someone has narrowed down their search so specifically.)

still there is an obvious business out there - now how do i propose my social media network for enema lovers to the boys and girls on the dragon's den?
it will give a whole new meaning to logging on.


poor old oxford university student union.

first it was vince cable cancelling a speech he was to give there. he cited security fears and costs. vince as part of the liberal democrats had signed an agreement to phase out tuition fees, it was a vote winner with many students who duly plonked their mark down by their liberal candidate.
oops. guess they won't be doing that again.
at least vince was honest about why he cancelled. he knew there would be protests and that whatever he had to say would be lost in the noise and hurly burly of protests. he even turned it into a mini victory for himself by saying he was avoiding unnecessary policing costs by not going.
well played dear chap.

now it is the turn of nick clegg to bail out on the oxford union (they must be feeling rather unloved right about now, let's all give them a hug. big hug).
what excuse has nasty nic... sorry that nice nick clegg given them.

according to the oxford union mr. clegg can't make it to them because of an 'unfortunate scheduling conflict'.

now i am not the most punctual of people but the only time i have a 'scheduling conflict' is when i don't want to be somewhere and i have to wash my hair.
perhaps if i had an overpaid diary manager (or an interesting life) such 'scheduling conflicts' might occur.
for someone like mr. clegg such things shouldn't happen, it is not hard to manage your time. true there are always emergencies that throw you off schedule, they can't be avoided or planned for and people accept them. the only problem with emergencies is that you don't know abouut them in advance.

so i am left with the question: if you can't manage your diary mr. clegg with all those people you have helping you (the liberal party, the cabinet office, the civil service and your special advisers), if you can manage to double book yourself for two engagements on the same night, if you can't check your diary before agreeing to something then mr. clegg i ask you, this simple question.
if you can't manage your diary what fucking chance do you have to manage the country?

we are all in it together, except for mr. clegg who has had to pull out because he has another appointment, but i am sure he will join us soon.

Tuesday, November 09, 2010


one of cameron's happier claims is that he is cutting the government's communication bill (even as he adds a photographer, videographer and others to the public payroll).
meanwhile eric pickles is mastering attacks on local council freesheets (all the while telling us that centralism is out and localism is in - perhaps it is just local as long as it is inline with what the centre wants).
strangely in the new 'transparent' world of the con/dems information would be key, except when you stop providing that information.

still we can always rely on the con/dems to provide us with a useful phrase to explain this brave new world of politics.
we are all familiar with "we are all in it together" (and we all know what it means). then there is the various combinations of words that add up to "we inherited the mess of the previous government" (and we all know what is being left out).

now we have 'horizon shift'. say what? (it is all about giving up the short term headline for the longer term policy planning/ investment).
part of this 'horizon shift' is to get rid of targets (because we don't actually want to measure things, we don't want to what we are aiming for) and replace them with milestones, which to you and me may smell pretty much like targets.

perhaps that is the thing about being in government: you can change the name, you can change the rhetoric, you can change the jargon but in the end it still sounds, and acts like a government.

Monday, November 08, 2010


today i avoided the news.
i read the daily mail.
i thank you. (matinee shows wednesdays and fridays.)

Sunday, November 07, 2010


in honour of the new 'forced' work plan i would like to annonce a cometition to design a nice armband that those who are on the programme can wear.
given that it is aimed at the workshy (not the genuinely unemployed and trying to find a job - though according to the government and the daily mail such a beastie is a rare thing indeed) i was thinking of a big ws as a logo, just can't make up my mind on the colour scheme.

why do they need armbands?
well so that people can point at them, of course. parents can point them out to their children and whisper: "see that is what happens when you don't (fill in as desired)".
of course the pointing that people will do will add to the wearer's self-esteem, because they will quickly see that people respect them.

so obviously the armbands need to stand out.
perhaps they should also wear day-glo jackets as well.

so get your coloured pencils out and start designing, after all how hard can it be?
best designs will be forwarded to ian duncan smith (i am sure he knows a few workshy tailors who can knock up the winning designs).

remember your community will love you for it and it will be a reminder that we are all in it together.


i love them.
they bring out the big kid in me (almost as much as snow does, but without getting quite so soggy).
enjoyed the display in victoria park, accompanied by the sounds of the 40s (it was a blitz celebration).
big smile. chill night.

Saturday, November 06, 2010


the cleric abu hamza has won his battle to stop the british state from stripping him of his british passport. (he didn't win against the egyptian state that has successfully stripped him of his passport.)

funny thing is abu hamza is that he is not british by birth, but by marriage, nor is he particularly keen on the british (or western) way of life. he wants a caliphate or democracy, is less than keen on jews and homosexuals. but how he loves the european court of human rights.

it is a quirk of western civilisation and democracy: the defence of those who would see it destroyed. if you needed a reason to cherish 'our way of life' then you need look no further.

a little like david cameron i am 'disappointed' at the ruling, but another quirk about democracy: it isn't about me.

while david and i may not be happy with the outcome we both know that it is a strength of democracy, that it can, and will, accept differing views, even those that are utterly hostile to it.

the real battle is to remind everyone that while democracy may not be perfect, it is much better than the alternatives.


what the fuck am i doing still awake?
no idea, better go to sleep.

Friday, November 05, 2010


you would have thought that someone who criticised the new labour government for wasting money on quangos and consultants would have tried to have been squeaky clean when he took office. i guess the rules don’t apply when you believe, as david cameron does, that he was destined to lead the country.

not happy with employing his photographer and videographer at the taxpayer’s expense the evening standard has pointed out that cameron has added another two of his mates to the public payroll. (to be fair the daily mail had made note of one of the appointments a few days back).

isabel spearman has been hired as the assistant to samantha cameron. she is there to run her diary, look after her correspondence and make sure she has the right clothes. an awesomely important job, i think we all agree. strangely she had been doing this job before the election, so someone else must have been picking up the tab. guess what? not anymore, we are paying her salary now. look as long as sam cam is looking fine then i am feeling good about it. money well spent.

the other appointment is anna-maren ashford, who used to be the conservative party’s head of brand communications. (she said of the conservative squiggle, sorry logo: 'the tree is rooted and strong, a very british image, yet reflects growth, freedom and versatility.' she is now involved in the cabinet office’s ‘behavioural insight team’ (say what?) (don’t worry it isn’t all that sinister it is just looking at how government can persuade people to change their behaviour. see it is all about ‘the nudge’. actually maybe it is sinister). good to see the conservative party cutting its wage bill, yet making sure the unemployment figures don’t go up as they have shunted her onto the public pay packet. excellent stuff and a necessary job, i am sure.

according to the standard ms spearman’s role is largely administrative and ms ashford was working on strategy (well i am glad we voted for her, oh we didn’t did we).

now i don’t dispute that david cameron has a tough job, and when you are in that situation you want to have your mates around you, to give support and to keep the spirits high. i am sure that cries of “hypocrite” would be misplaced (besides dave’s mates are there to prevent him from hearing such claims). i can’t help but feel the four ‘jobs’ that have been created by the camerons could have been paid for by private sources if only to prevent claims of cronyism and to defend against accusations of wasting taxpayers’ money.

shame that cameron can’t hire some of those people in the public sector that are about to lose their job, but then they are not cameron’s mate – so tough luck. perhaps the next time i sign on andy parsons can come and take my portrait while isabel spearman can give me tips on what sorts go well with my jeans – after all they are public servants now.

don’t forget we are all in it together and our sacrifices mean that a very wealthy can have someone help her chose what dresses to wear. seems perfectly reasonable to me.

Thursday, November 04, 2010


my current irk is the fact that no matter how many times i tell my internet browser that i want it to remember my details on some sites (such as this one), each time i want to drop my pearls of wisdom i have to sign on.
why won't you keep my signed in like i ask you?
why? why? why?

computers they were supposed to make our lives easy. just create new sources of irkness.

Wednesday, November 03, 2010


we all want to look our best, especially when it comes to be photographed or videoed.

so we can't really blame david cameron for putting his personal photographer and videographer on staff. he needs them to present him (and his family) in the best light. to show us all he is, indeed, just like me and you (albeit a very rich smug version of me and you).

c'mon admit it - if you could afford it you would have a photographer following you around catching you in that 'moment' (to use a term loved by henri cartier bresson), look there you are looking thoughtful (snap), here you are smiling and talking with a stranger (click), oh look at you run (snap, click, snap). all captured in stunning, sometimes airbrushed, colour or maybe just that moody serious black and white.

you know you would want it.

or imagine the videographer making everything look like it runs smoothly and well planned, all with added soundtrack.

see it sounds brilliant, and don't deny it.
you would do it if you could afford it.
oh hold on - if you could afford it.

one of the things that cameron loves to tell us (and i suspect that just as he gets all worked up with sam to play a game of m'lord and ladies, he whispers in her ear: "deficit") is that we are in a parlous situation, that public services have to be cut and that savings have to be made. if he tells us once, he tells us twice and just to make sure he tells us a third time.

as part of this he is quick to lambast the labour government for its profligacy.

so it is nice to know that while he is presiding over cuts and job loses he can find some public money to hire his own personal photographer and videographer, and because of the nature of their contracts the job didn't have to be advertised - not that i would have gone for it - not sure david cameron would have suited being pictured with a traffic cone on his head.

oh but he tells us he has cut the previous government's outrageous communication bill, so don't begrudge me giving two jobs to my mates, after all they make me look so good, so smug, so dave!

it is not like the cameron's couldn't afford to pay for them. or that the conservative party couldn't stump up the cash for them. after all who was paying for them before david cameron, so generously, put them on the public purse? now that the state is paying for them does that mean that the state owns the copyright on their work, will all monies paid to use their images go back to the state? (just wondering).

so next time dave is telling us all how hard it is and how we all have to make sacrifices to make ends meet just remember we are all in it together - even if most of us can't afford to appoint our own private photographer, after all who wants to see suffering and depression when we can look at airbrushed smugness.


i have known my local newsagent for close on twenty years, i even have a nickname there, slam or slammy (based on the fact i used to whinge when my copy of the british basketball magazine, slam, wasn't available).
one of the, many, areas contention we have is over food. he likes good food, i just like food. so whenever i tell him i was having a curry in brick lane he just snorts and tells me it is not authentic indian food. (to be fair to brick lane it doesn't really try to hide the bangladeshi origin of much of the food on offer, the clue would be in the 'banglatown' tag for the area.)

my newsagent contends the best indian food is available in west london.

one day i will take him up on his offer to go and sample the grub over there (like i say i like food, but not enough to travel across the city for a curry).
tonight he handed me a bag with homemade curry and rice, he wasn't sure i would like it as it was hot. i said i would give it ago.

he wasn't lying. it was hot. it was also very nice.

it was hot.
i can still feel the heat inside me - keeping me warm and also starting the volcanic movement in my gut that will have seismic results in the morning.

oh yes i can tell that i will have a ring of fire tomorrow.

i tell you what that means i won't be needing to have an enema (why am i mentioning enemas? because pretty much every other day my blog is found by someone looking for enemas! if you can't beat them, join them).

oh and if the rumblings are true i won't be doing a log tomorrow, what will be coming out of my arse will be sludgy lava.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010


two years ago the chant was: "yes we can".
the wave of hope and change that swept obama into power splashed over the world and filled many with optimism.
idealism. gotta love it.

two years later and political realism has kicked hope and optimism fully in the nuts.
the democrats are being slapped silly in the mid-term elections.
in a perfect world it wouldn't matter what was going on in the usa elections, but as we have learnt (much to our cost) what happens in the usa affects us all.

tonight the chant is: "no we can't".

Monday, November 01, 2010


who would have thought it: britain and france to sign a defence accord that heralds greater military cooperation between them. perhaps to the extent that that they will be deployed as a single force at certain times.
it makes sense on several levels: there will be financial benefits from it, both countries spend more on defence than other european countries, both are nuclear powers and both sit on the un security council.
so it makes practical sense.
there are obvious practical issues – one just has to look at the question of iraq to see what they might be. indeed some have said that such a deal between britain and france might disturb the relationship between britain and the usa – what a shame that would be.
what makes this very odd is that it is happening under david cameron. i am sure more than a few conservatives are having hissyfits, bad enough talking about having the euro here, but teaming up with the french?
crikey mrs. thatcher would be spinning in her grave if the old bat would just hurry up and die.