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Tuesday, December 31, 2013

105



end of year review

there isn’t much point in doing a review of my year as it was shitter than the shitty end of the shit stick.
now some of that is because i just didn’t apply myself (in the terms of the con/dems i would be a shirker), and some of it was down to the fact that opportunities just didn’t come my way.

the world has gotten harsher, nastier and harder in 2013.

we can only hope that in 2014 it will be better (at least we won’t have to suffer the humiliation of the english cricket team capitulating at the first sign of a decent ball).

Monday, December 30, 2013

104



fat
rarely a day goes by without yet another story about what makes us fat or why we are fat.
sometimes it has been blamed on the fact that we have to use too much brain power, or that we are sitting down at desks all day.

now it is down to fact that fat is a social issue because we eat what people around us eat. the research argues that a constant refrain in restaurants is ‘i’ll have what they are having’.  now i can’t claim to be a regular restaurant goer. in my limited experience the last thing that happens is the miraculous occurrence where the ordering is simple because everyone is going ‘i’ll have some of that’.

so it seems that if you don’t want to get fat don’t eat in restaurants, or if you do choose something different from the rest of the people there. 

or we could just eat less, eat better and exercise more - but that would be taking responsibility for our own lives. 
can't have that when we can blame others. 

103

i have a very long shit list




A list of the things I hate would be a very long one.
I have recently added a new item to the list: hatred of things that make me feel sympathy towards those I hate.

While this has probably happened more times than I can remember the first time I realised I hated it was when the press got on david cameron’s case about not knowing the price of supermarket milk, (oddly I never felt that way when George Osborne was taking flack over his lack of knowledge of the price of pasties – but then he is the ultimate smug git).
So why the sympathy? Because it is such a cheap and irrelevant point to make.
Firstly it is doubtful that david Cameron has much time to go out to do the weekly shop at his local tesco, sainsbuy’s or other supermarket of his choice.
Secondly even if he did have time I doubt if I would be very wrong in thinking that there is someone employed in the Cameron household to do such chores.
So no shock he is unaware of the price of milk.
Thirdly I would also guess that most of the editors of these news stories would also be hard pressed to tell us the price of milk. What they all share in common with Cameron is they have a good idea what the price of krug or dom perignon.

I admit I felt a bit icky siding with Cameron.

Imagine how I felt when I felt sorry for piers morgan.
Go on imagine it. not nice is it.
In my pantheon of people I dislike piers morgan is an a-lister. It is partly to do with him being a smug twat and partly to do with him reminding me of an old work colleague I couldn’t stand.
Morgan is one of those people who I try to avoid hearing about, easier to pretend they don’t exist at all then.
There I was listening to the ashes coverage on 5live (well that was time well spent) when they mentioned some goings on with morgan and an Australian cricketer.
Turns out that morgan had criticised some of the English players, why only some is a mystery as they all seemed to have left their skill, sense and heart at home. Brett lee, Australian and retired from international cricket 17 months ago, took umbrage at this and challenged morgan, 47 cnn presenter and ex daily mail editor, to an over.
Morgan accepted.
Lee bowled 6 very fast balls at morgan, who managed to stop most of them with bits of his body. It looked and sounded painful. Morgan faced up to each of the balls. Proving two things that he does indeed have more heart than the English cricket team and that brett lee is a bit of a bully, well actually a lot of a bully. 

even worse he only managed to bowl morgan out once - while mtchell johnson has been rolling over the england batters. perhaps morgan should get a game. 

So here I am ending the year not only feeling sorry for piers morgan but a degree of admiration and respect for him.
I fucking hate that.
And for that Brett lee has been added to my shit list.

Monday, December 23, 2013

102

officially one of the worst years ever

has been a shit year.
and it has also been a pretty bad year for me bloggying.

onwards and upwards for 2014.

Friday, December 20, 2013

101



friends


as the year comes to an end i am left to reflect on the one positive that came out of it.

i have been blessed with good and dear friends. if i am honest with myself (and sometimes i am) i would admit that i don’t deserve such friends.

i am thankful for them. perhaps in 2014 i can begin to repay some of the kindness they have shown me.
here’s hoping.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

100

spam

i am getting a lot of spam on the blog at the moment.
i don't mind as it is pretty much the only traffic i am getting, and that is something i need to change in the coming year.

what really annoys me about the spam isn't the avalanche of it, but the poor quality of it.
it is a little like and scam emails you get where someone is trying to rip you off of a small fortune but can't quite be bothered to spell check the email they have sent. the spam is the same. just why am i going to follow a link that is embedded in a large chunk of text that is almost unreadable?
i'm not.

so spammers for 2014 please invest in a spellchecker just to make your effort a little more professional.
have pride in your work.

Monday, December 16, 2013

99

people moving or not as the case maybe



as i get older i get irked more.
i am not sure if i have developed a lower irk threshold or that people are generally more irksome.
what i am finding is that there is an ever growing list of things that irritate and annoy.

so what has got your panties in a bunch? i can hear you ask.
people moving.
look i can see the look you are giving me, but it is true. right now it is people moving, or sometimes when they have decided to stop moving.
yeah! yeah! you are still none the wiser.

look why don’t i just tell you some of the things that gets my goat when it comes to people moving or not moving.
imagine, if you will, that you are walking down the street, nothing special out to get the shopping, you are in no hurry just need to get from here to there. ambling along the pavement minding your own business when oh no you have to take evasive action because some self absorbed wanker has their attention glued to the screen of their oh so trendy smart phone updating their social media status letting all their friends know they are walking down the road.
good for them.
bad for the rest of us.

then there are the loiterers. people who have an uncanny knack, almost a super-power, to stop in the most inconvenient place possible. normally they have perched themselves at the top of a busy set of stairs or in a bustling doorway.
yeah thanks for making me late.

or the transport queue jumpers who dash to get to the front and then spend an eternity hunting around for their ticket. it isn’t like the ticket thing was a surprise. but no just as they get to the ticket barrier it is check pockets, check bag, oh where is it. oh there it is. don’t worry about the waiting masses behind you.

don’t get me started on cyclists.

go on admit you can see i am right.
i am. aren’t i.