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Thursday, September 30, 2010


i was thinking of rebranding myself.
give myself a make over, a rejig.

i thought i would start with the name and work out from there.
yes i could be pat2.0, but that isn't hip and trendy enough.
i need something that is edgy, that speaks of creativity. something that says desirable.

so i present the new me: the ipat.


Tuesday, September 28, 2010


having watched the milibands do their thing i am struck by just how i lack ambition and drive. some of that is down to, currently, having no goals to strive for.

sure i could run for the mayor of tower hamlets (and let's be honest i couldn't do a worse job than whoever gets it) or i could even run for mayor of london (and let's be... oh i have done that one already...) though i think i should look at something a little more attainable and then work up to the bigger and better goals.

so it is time to draw a line under it in the sand, stand back to look at the whole shebang, take stock, say no more that it is time to get a move on, pull my socks up by their bootstraps so that i can give myself a kick up the backside in order to return to the drawing board to see the big picture. i need to put my foot down and get a move on before the fat lady has sung.

it is time to get my ducks in a line and on the same page, to get my game face on and perform a gut check so that i can man up. i have to step up to the plate, with my eyes on the prize, so that i can knock it out of the park to score a hole in one in order to go the whole nine yards.

it is all about knuckling down with my nose to the grindstone and my shoulder to the wheel because when push comes to shove i have to give it the old college try.

i can’t wait until the cows come home it is all about balls to the wall, pedal to the metal going like a bat out of hell bent for leather. no pain no glory.

the wake-up call has been heard, the bull has been taken by the horns, the box is being thought out of.

the mojo starts here.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Saturday, September 25, 2010


ed miliband is now the leader of the labour party.
i think i would have preferred ed balls.

yet already i am warming to ed miliband just because the news media have already started to attack him for his win. the story that is being spun is that his win was handed to him because of the unions. makes me think that the right wing attack dogs have been let lose.
that alone is enough to make me think that ed is the man.

now what are the odds on the labout party doing the sensible thing and unite behind him?


imagine my shock.
imagine my despair.
imagine my humiliation.

there i was in my local library - sorry i mean idea store - and in a mickey rooney judy garland moment i decided to write a blog right there, right then.
fire up the laptop.
log in.

crushed - the people of tower hamlets are deprived of my words of wisdom.
yet the idea store (the new name for library) has the works of jeffery archer.
there is no justice.

Thursday, September 23, 2010


cctv the bane of civil libertarians the country over.
bad to have them in our streets – terrible infringement of our privacy.
catch a woman dumping a cat into a rubbish bin or a bloke leaving his dog behind and no one mentions how they infringe on civil liberties.
we are truly a nation of pet lovers.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010


there i was listening to the radio when vicky simister came on, she has started the london anti-street harassment campaign or lash (not quite sure why it isn’t lashc, well i am lash is a word, lashc isn’t).

the main thrust of her campaign is one that everyone can get behind, as stated in their goals “ultimately, we want street harassment to simply be socially unacceptable”, of course this harassment is just one way: men towards women (and transsexuals, because lash is inclusive). i am not disputing that there is a problem; i live in an area where the local young males have extra macho flakes for their breakfasts.
i do have issues with some of the research quoted and the easy way that an american based informal survey of a small group of people can be applied to london, and given the status of fact.
lash does mention two british based reports, containing disturbing details such as around 10,000 women are sexually assaulted every week or that the london ambulance service is called to 450 rapes/sexual assaults a year. instead of highlighting this lash prefers to concentrate on things such as the fact that some women have experienced leering or extended staring.
(oh ok i know i am getting worked up about this aspect of it because i am a bit of a lech.)

where i really took umbrage at ms simister (who i would describe as a bit of alright if i wasn’t scared i would be accused of harassment) is the easy way she described harassment as being very much in the eye of the receiver – so for someone a smile would be enough to cause offence – the question of where to draw the line being one that remained unanswered).

just as i thought that ms simister was guilty of being far too sensitive i see that a union leader is up in arms and demanding an apology.
recently pim de lange, boss of the ferry company stena line, described britons as “quite fat and covered in tattoos”. most sane people would have a chuckle, say “arsehole” and move on.
not steve todd, head of maritime at the rmt union. nope mr. todd is mortified and says that mr. de lange’s remarks were an “"appalling, abusive and derogatory" attack.”
de lange has done the usual ‘comments taken out of context’ and issued an apology, of sorts.
todd, as is usual in this cases, says it is not enough and “is demanding a full retraction of all the statements he has made and a full apology to all british seafarers for his behavior”
personally i would like to think that british seafarers are built of sterner stuff and are not crying themselves to sleep at night because they have been described as tattooed and fat.
oddly the rmt are balloting its workers for industrial action over claims that stena line were planning to hire filipino workers on rates of £2.20 an hour. if i were in mr. todd’s shoes i wouldn’t be worried about the hurt feelings of a few of his members, though i am sure his concern plays well to them, but concentrate on making sure that the issue of low pay was firmly in the public arena and that it was the central problem that the rmt was concerned about. instead demanding an apology for an imagined hurt just means the real meat and potatoes of their compliant is lost in the mix.

while i might think that ms simister picks the wrong examples to highlight her cause, at least she can argue that ‘light’ harassment can grow into a serious problem. all mr. todd has done is paint british seafarers as milquetoasts. mr. todd would be better off using his union’s power to get behind ms. simister’s campaign to stop harassment, at least then he would be contributing to something that is trying to resolve a real and serious problem rather than trying to score points with his members.

now that you have read my guff head on over to the lash website and sign up.

Monday, September 20, 2010


i know i shouldn’t be calling for things to be banned. it is a bad idea; it is akin to book burning.
but just as there are times when book burning is a good thing – such as torching the works of jeffery archer and james patterson. there are also times when banning is a good thing. i may have argued to ban these before, they still deserve a mention.

ban anyone from using ‘narrative’ when they are talking about current events – as if we were all living in a post-modern scripted existence. so in his criticism of david cameron for the poor result of the election he points to the leadership debates as a mistake because ‘it changed the narrative’ of the campaign. when used this way narrative becomes a totally wanky word (i am pretty sure ‘wanky’ is an accepted form of literary analysis) that is full of portentous vim and vigour but really just means ‘shit happens and things change’.
though to be fair i do wish the current government was a narrative as i would skip forward a few chapters and get to the bit where they have been run off by the electorate for being ideological muggers.

ban senior politicians and business men from walking around in their suits without a tie. trust me gents it doesn’t make you look hip and trendy, it doesn’t make you look like you are ready to muck in with the rest of us, it doesn’t make you look young and thrusting. it just makes you look a tad sad with a large dollop of wannabe cred. if you really want to appeal to the kids: get the low slung baggy jeans on and get the wigger spirit on.
actually that i would pay to see: the con/dems as crips, clegg and cameron as homies with their plaid shirts buttoned at the neck, open the rest of the way down, showing the bright white wife beater vest. hell they both have the rappy hand movements.

ban members of the con/dem cabinet telling us how they sympathise with us at the unemployment and misery that the cuts will cause. yes they say we know it is painful but we are all in it together. i guess it is easy to say that when most of the cabinet are millionaires and we are not. we don’t want your crocodile tears you smug rich pricks anymore than we want your deep, dangerous, driven by ideology cuts.
as it looks like we are going to get the cuts, spare us the fake sympathy.

ban the tax payer’s alliance – they have nothing useful or interesting to say. oh and they are cunts.
mmm perhaps that is the beginnings of a manifesto for london mayor. hey and just to do my bit for the economy i would do the job for half the salary boris is getting. i know i know undercutting a working man is not the done thing for those of a socialist bent, as it is boris i reckon i can be forgiven. besides it is not like bojo isn’t already minted.


i am not sure what is cause and what is effect but when i have babestation on the tv i am reluctant to sleep.
more proof, if any were needed, that i am a dirty old man (though perhaps slightly soiled middle-aged man would be a better description).
but the gorgeous gymnastics of jada are hard to resist.

crikey i need a job....

Sunday, September 19, 2010


"Today we salute the few and give thanks for their bravery, sacrifice and our freedom."
so said raf chaplain in chief raymond pentland

i think that pretty much says all that needs to be said about those that fought and died in the battle of britain.

Saturday, September 18, 2010


i still don't get it.
just thought i would share.

Thursday, September 16, 2010


i know you have all been worried and wanted to know the answer.
what was the question? i hear you cry.

could i tie a tie?

the answer is: yes i can still tie a tie and get a neat knot.

you can all relax easy now.


more often than not the clue is in the name.

oxford university - a university in oxford.
national portrait gallery - a gallery full of portraits.
runcorn train station - a train station in runcorn.
british broadcasting company - a british broadcasting company.

see it is easy.

sometimes you have to dig a little deeper.

the big society.
b s

see it is so true.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010


there i was walking home.

i was a bit stressed. thinking about the interview that faced me in the morning. do i, don’t i wear a tie? do i own a tie? (answer: i do now). can i tie a tie? (answer: i’ll find out in the morning).

in between sartorial worries i considered the various possible questions and answers. what are your strengths? what are your weaknesses? where do you think you are going to be in 5 years time? answer: who knows, brain hurts, save me!!

as i mused and cogitated movement caught my eye.

hold on! hold on! babe alert.

at the other end of the road there she was a vision of beauty. long thick curly black hair. pouty lips, olived skinned, tall, athletic.


oh so much more than hubba. she was hubba hubba.

each step we took brought us closer. the closer we got the more stunning she was. all i could do not to stare, all i could do not to let my tongue hang out.
hold on! hold on! she is walking towards me.
check: is zip done up? yes. phew. check: is anything caught in my teeth? no. result. check: any stains on my t-shirt? no. double result.

as she gets closer she is even more phwoar . she is still coming towards me. a smile playing on those fulsome lips. she puts her hand out to me to stop me.
be still my beating heart.
the voice is like a summer breeze that has smoked too many cigarettes and drunk too much bourbon.
i listen, attentively. hopefully.

“can you tell me where the nearest argos is?”

fuck. fuck. fuck. hear that noise? it is the sound of dreams shattering. shit. shit. shit.
oh you naughty tease.

hiding my disappointment i gave her the directions she needed. i watched her go. bent over and picked up the pieces of broken desires.

interview? what interview?

Tuesday, September 14, 2010


as i strolled around my local sainsbury's, agog at the work they have done on it,while trying to work out just what they had done to the main part of the store i stumbled across a sight that brought a chill to my bones.
no: not the shelves filled with halloween tat. so much of it cluttering up the place.
nope that wasn't it.

i was taken with the wall of chocolate gift boxes.
i like chocolate.
and bend me over and insert a mars bar but there you go chocolate christmas tree decorations.

for fuck sake. it is still september. it is far too soon to be banging on about christmas.

so in the spirit of the extended season - may i wish you all a happy christmas.
(don't be expecting any cards.)

Monday, September 13, 2010


the news international phone hacking scandal rumbles on.

we have had the recent revelation that the standards and privileges committee effectively bottled calling rebekah brooks to give evidence. one of the reasons given for this omission was that there had been a friendly reminder that if the members of parliament pressed news international then there would be payback.
payback in the form of looking for skeletons in the cupboard that could be ‘revealed’ to the public.

i can understand their reluctance to continue. it is not like people are going to rush to the defence of politicians. as one mp, tom watson, has pointed out that the red tops are the big beasts in the modern jungle and they have no predators.

ah tom, tom, tom. you are mistaken. there is a weapon that mps could use against the press barons and their editors. yes tom, unleash the full force of the state against them, have the branches of the intelligence service return the snooping favour. set the spies to look into their dirty secrets and be prepared to publish them – in the interests of fairness, of course.

it is what i would do.

perhaps that is another reason why i am not prime minister.

Saturday, September 11, 2010


i can't say i have seen much of larry king.
yet the american interviewer has been doing the job for years and is greatly respected. he has conducted 40,000 interviews with some all of the biggest names in politics, sports and entertainment.
he is also famous for wearing braces.
he has decided to retire, well he is 76.

tough act to follow.
tough shoes to fill.

oh they have chosen piers morgan.
or more accurately: what the fuck!!!

each and every time i see piers morgan i just want to slap his smug face until it is bright red.
just more proof that the cream doesn't always rise.

(this has been a blog on behalf of the 'i-didn't-have-much-to-say-so-i-filled-the-space-with-this party. no talk show hosts were harmed.)

Friday, September 10, 2010


a couple of days ago there was an interview with ed balls in the independent. in it he said “i'm more of a risk taker. in fairness to gordon he did take big risks but he agonised about them...”

now i know the macho strain in politics makes it almost impossible for politicians not to try to be tougher than the last guy. there are times when it just comes across as not just empty posturing but also as witless.
for me this is one of those times.

as ed balls was one of gordon brown’s closes allies in the labour government i am guessing that the point of his quote is to put a little distance between him and mr. brown. ed balls isn’t going to dither, he is going to be decisive. fair enough.
call me old fashioned, call me stupid but i have to say i am quite relieved that gordon brown agonised over big decisions, that he didn’t act rashly or without a lot of thought.

because leaders of parties and countries are not playing a game of cards where all that is at stake is the pot on the table and the risk just relates to the person playing the game.
perhaps the reason gordon brown (and i am guessing several other prime ministers) agonised over his decision is that he understood that the choices he made affected the whole of the population and as such shouldn’t be taken lightly.
so ed, if you happen to be reading this (and i am sure you are) if you really want to convince people that you are ready to lead the labour party stop pretending to be so fucking rough and tough, realise that politics is a game, it isn’t. trust me ed we will think much better of you if we know you are thinking about the decisions you are making and that you are giving them some consideration rather than taking a risk on flipping a coin.

Thursday, September 09, 2010


andy hogarth is the managing director of one the country’s biggest employment agencies. in a recent piece in the sun (i know i shouldn’t read it but…) commented on the fact that two-thirds of the people he employs are from eastern europe.
“a lot of it is hard, physical, monotonous work that pays just above minimum wage. for them it’s a good job, but it’s not enough to tempt brits out of bed.”
maybe the problem doesn’t lie with the british worker, but with the british employer?
a while back ian duncan smith teamed up with frank field to find the causes of poverty. in order to save them time, in order to save them money and just to show that i care let me give them a very big clue: “work that pays just above the minimum wage”.
that is where poverty starts.
in and of itself the minimum wage is a good thing, but there is no way that it can keep pace with increases living costs such as rent, energy, transport and food. it is not that people are scared of work; it is that they don’t understand how they can work hard and still not have money at the end of the week.
any system where the wages of the workers have to be supplemented by the state in order that they can live has something fundamentally wrong with it, that andy hogarth can happily talk about the fact that a lot of the work he offers is just above minimum wage is something we should be worried about, if not ashamed of.
as michael moore once said to pointed out to phil knight of nike that if the workers couldn’t earn enough money then they are not going to be buying the goods that are being produced dirt cheap and sold for high prices.
in answer to andy hogarth, perhaps the reason why east europeans are happier to work for minimum wage is that they are not planning on staying here permanently, they are not worried about setting down roots. they can take short term hardships at work because back home the money they are earning here is worth more.
maybe andy hogarth should direct his anger at the employers for not providing a living wage, pay the staff more, get better workers, more people earning, more money spent, more money spent, more things bought, more things bought the more profit there is.
it is just a thought.

Wednesday, September 08, 2010


i have mixed feelings over tony blair, he is not the demon made out by many, nor is he the saint that some paint him as. on balance he probably did more good than harm, regardless of that the iraq war is going to loom over his achievements.
that the war overshadows him is evident when it came to his book signings. ‘stop the war’ coalition, along with some from the ‘real ira’ were out to protest his signing in dublin. they threw shoes and eggs (they missed) they chanted (including that he had blood on his hands – of course it doesn’t matter that the ‘real ira’ have killed people – they are freedom fighters. no really that makes it ok) and they were outnumbered by those who wanted to get a copy of the book signed.
one of the strands of comment about the event was the cost of protection that was incurred protecting mr. blair. of course one could argue that there isn’t a price too high to ensure that we all benefit from freedom of speech.

in response to it all mr. blair cancelled the signing at waterstones in piccadilly and the book launch at the tate modern. a shame really i had been looking forward to going to both, not that i can afford his book.
blair doesn’t care about having to cancel. the book is selling like billy-o.

oddly he is criticised for cancelling because he is seen as caving into to protests (the same people would have complained about the cost after the event) thus proving that in some cases you can never been right in politics.

over at the daily telegraph they were banging on about how they had an exclusive interview with tony blair, the only newspaper to have one. one of the things that struck me as i read the mary riddell conducted interview was just how similar it was to the andrew marr one i had watched on the bbc. i couldn’t work out if they were told that they could only ask certain questions which meant the answers had a rehearsed feel to them, or that blair had decided that no matter what the question was he was going to give pretty much the same form answer.
in one part of the riddell interview she asked if his dash for cash was unseemly. she pointed out that blair gets £2.5m from jp morgan chase and a reported £2m from zurich financial services.
to which blair replies: “i am basically a public service person. i spend two-thirds to three quarters of my time on unpaid work.”

fuck me tony get off the cross. if i could bag £4.5m a year from doing very little then i am pretty sure i could give up a large chunk of my time to work for free. yet it wasn’t even that that annoyed me it was that the ‘free work’ that tony is doing is all pretty much geared to making sure that brand ‘tony blair’ has a lot of equity in it. that it ensures the tony rolodex is filled with names that are useful to him and to those who might employ tony as an advisor in the future.
it is not like tony is giving up his time to work at his local hospice or is stuffing envelopes for a small charity; no he is doing very public global work. so the ‘free work’ he is doing will all go to fill the coffers at a later date.
if i am honest i don’t even begrudge him that.
what pisses me off and makes my nipples ache in anger is that he has the gall to get all sanctimonious about it, that he gets on his moral high horse about how he isn’t about the money, that he is all about the service.

when he was being elected he was all about the aspiration. it is a little hard to sell the idea that you are still aspirational when you are rolling in cash
take my advice tony: keep up the good works, just don’t ask us to be sympathetic to all the ‘free work’ you do.

Tuesday, September 07, 2010


not been a good week for william hague.

after his little bit of a fall of grace a few people have come to offer him support.

on the one hand there is tony blair. i am sure that is just the sort of support william wants right now: from the most reviled politician in the country.

then there is michael gove, at least gove is on the same side as hague.
mr. gove describes mr. hague as one of the most gifted politicians of our times.

now i not sure if that is a damming indictment on the quality of our political class, or if it is a demonstration of just how far off the beaten path mr. gove has wandered (given his education 'policy' he is off the range).

though to be fair mr. gove might be talking about mr. hague's, not inconsiderable, judo skills: including his favourite moves such as 'sweepa himzabed' or the 'myeraka snogerooni'. (sorry cheap shot i know.)

Monday, September 06, 2010


i love the rain. the sound of it. the feel of it.
i love the way it makes the streets look at night.

i really do hate the fuckwits who have umbrellas the size of small countries and don't have the common decency or sense to move their shit rag brolly out of the way of other pedestrians.
if i had my way they would all be waterboarded. it may sound harsh, but trust me the world would be a better place for it.

you know i am right.

Sunday, September 05, 2010

Saturday, September 04, 2010


andy coulson is the prime minister’s chief spin doctor; he used to be the editor of the ‘news of the world’.
back in 2007 clive goodman, the news of the world’s royal correspondent, was jailed for illegally tapping some of the phones of the royal household. at the time andy coulson resigned because while he said he was not aware that the tapping was going on it had occurred on his watch so of he went.
the new york times has resurrected the story because they have a named source who claims coulson knew it was going on and it was much more widespread than originally thought.
coulson denies this.
number 10 are fully behind him (william hague might be jealous… sorry couldn’t resist).
some say that this is just the new york times having a go because of their great rivals the wall street journal’s link to news of the world through rupert murdoch, others are also pointing out that the drink and drug habits of the new source make him totally unreliable.
but surely it just comes down to:
if coulson didn’t know it was going on then he was a pretty shit editor of the paper, so surely number 10 have a pup on their hands.
or coulson knew it was happening but as far as number 10 are concerned that is fine as it is in the past and andy is doing a good job for them. (besides if number 10 want a phone tapped they just go to mi6).
either way the pressure must by on coulson, as the slick machine that was the con/dems is wobbling a bit and only the recent birth is providing some nice happy photo ops.

Friday, September 03, 2010


trying to find work isn't as easy as cameron and the con/dems say, i mean look at what young political advisers have to do to get a job, but there are jobs out there.

under the guidance of a welfare to work scheme (staffed by goal oriented stock broker wannabes) i have flooded the local charity sector with my cv. i have to say i wasn’t expecting much from the exercise. so imagine my surprise when i get a call from the head honcho of a local charity.
she gives me a little spiel about her charity and the work she is doing. she is enthusiastic and passionate about it. we arrange a time for me to pop in for an interview.

that done i go off to check the charity website.
the basic premise is to get the very rich to cough up more of their money that will be channelled into various projects around the world, and that the outcomes of these projects would be measured and reported on.
a simple and powerful idea.
as the big kahuna the founder of the charity has gone from being an ‘it’ girl to standing with the great and the good in order to make some significant change. on the website there she is with ban ki-moon, bill clinton, gordon brown, desmond tutu and nobel peace prize winners. from the world of entertainment there she is with eric clapton, ben kingsley, milla jovavich, annie lennox and others.
a veritable meeting of the great and the good and all for a very good cause.

her vision and passion is infectious. i want to work for the charity. it is an idea that it would be so easy to get behind.

yet for all of that dear reader there was another reason i was looking forward to the interview. you are probably aware of the fact that i am a bruce willis fan. i have man love for bruce, i am in an unrequited bromance with mr. willis and i don’t care who knows it. you may also be aware of the game ‘six degrees of kevin bacon’ (a variation on the idea that everyone is just six steps away from any other person on earth).
so my interview with the charity founder allowed me to come within two links of bruce (me – to founder – to (either) jovavich/kingsley to willis). so when we shook hands it was a fantastic moment.
so close to bruce.

the job? nope not going to get that. shame really.

Thursday, September 02, 2010


a week is a long time in politics. events move at a frightening pace and the media moves even faster.
it is even faster in the blogosphere (now i don’t for a moment pretend to think that anyone who reads the drivel i put down pays a jot of attention to what i have to say, but it does annoy me when i have a great blog idea and just sit on it to let it fester and then bish bosh bang the world moves on and i miss out on a timely rant and in the end look like some bandwagon jumper – which i am, though sometimes more obviously than others. this blog is an example of two that i could have written at the time, but didn’t.
so budding bloggers and journalists take heed at the moral of this story: if you have something to say – then say it don’t wait, just do it. (other inspirational advertising slogans are available).
there i was contemplating a blog about crispin blunt, the conservative prisons minister, has announced that he is gay. mr blunt has said the move was difficult for his family and hoped for their “understanding and support” but that he was “trying to come to terms with his sexuality”.
one of mr. blunt’s constituency said that the announcement came as a bit of a shock but it was a private matter for him.
and that dear reader is really the nub of it all. who cares if mr. blunt is gay or not gay? i am sure his family do and i am sure that they will resolve and deal with this in a way that suits them as a family. other than that who really cares?
the timing of the announcement (friday august 27th) has given rise to suspicions that the reason mr. blunt has made his shock announcement is that he was to be outed by the press over the weekend.
again i ask why does the press care? is it in the national interest what mr. blunt does or doesn’t do in the privacy of his own home (all the press coverage is quick to point out that there was no one else involved – just mr. blunt having to discuss his sexuality because a newspaper wanted to sell more copies).
now no disrespect to mr. blunt (who, even though he is a conservative, is probably a very nice man) he pretty much a spear carrier for the con/dems, just a jobbing minister who isn’t going to be the first name to pop into anyone’s head if asked to name five members of the coalition cabinet.
there is no national interest in the story, just prurience on the part of the media. the sexuality of a member of parliament should only matter if it affects how they do their job. although he has not voted in accordance with stonewall’s stance (a gay advocacy group) that doesn’t mean he gone out of his way to butch up his voting to hide or compensate for his homosexuality.
surely we have moved beyond caring what someone’s sexuality is and even more so judging them based on that simple fact? apparently not, as we shall see, for a sidebar in the paper reporting the mr. blunt affair hinted that there was another revelation to come and that a married member of the cabinet was trying to get an injunction to stop a ‘gay story’ being published about him.
let me take you back a few more days to the 23rd of august when pictures of a trendy william hague and his new young adviser adorned the papers. lots of comments about the hip casual clothes that william was wearing, including a baseball cap (bringing back recollections of the last time he wore such a hat and looked like a very uncomfortable man being very uncomfortable). although the story was a sly pop at william hague for trying to dress younger, (to be fair he does look odd. it isn’t because he can’t carry off the outfit, he can and he did, he looks odd because he is william hague and he shouldn’t be dressed in anything other than sensible suits). the more important part of the story was the fact that the young chap by his side was a new special adviser (or spad as they seem to be called) to mr. hague, bringing his team of special advisers to three. chris myers, the adviser, was on the payroll for £30k a year.
hold on i thought, wasn’t one of the charges against labour was the numerous special advisers they employed at great cost to the taxpayer. this is outrageous i was going to thunder in the blog i was going to write that night when i got home. i even know how i was going to finish the blog off something along the lines of ‘we always knew what we were going to get with the tories – it was always going to be a case of do as i say not do as i do.’ it would have been a triumphal blog.
i just didn’t write it.
oh well.
let us move back to the present when the shit storm of hague is gay appears in the press. the proof that he is gay? he shared a hotel room with my myers. open and sealed case there sherlock both of them bum bandits for sure.
now let me reiterate here – it wouldn’t matter to me if mr. hague liked to have sex with men while diving off the wardrobe into a large tub of baked beans as he sang the complete whitney houston songbook. it really doesn’t matter. it is a private matter for mr. hague and those nearest and dearest to him. private. private. private.
quite why mr. hague didn't tell people that he was doing his bit to cut down on expenses - that they were bunking with each other and not bunking up.
if the fact that two blokes sharing a room makes them gay in the minds of some people then there are a few sports stars out there who should be shaking their money makers at their local gay bars.
however unlike mr. blunt there is a national interest aspect to mr. hague’s situation: the simple fact that mr. myers is on the government payroll as a special adviser. that is the question mr. hague had to answer, did his friendship influence him into giving him a nice government salary? not whether or not he played hide the sausage with him.
it was the same with david law; it wasn’t that he was involved in a gay relationship that was damaging, but that there were financial improprieties that were attached to that relationship.
in both mr. law’s and mr. hague’s cases the same questions would (or should) be asked in a heterosexual relationship if there were questions of professional wrongdoings.
as i have said a few times in this piece it shouldn’t matter which way the member of parliament swings as long as they do their job properly. sadly check the guidio fawkes blog (the site that broke the story) and you can see there is still a strong streak of homophobia to overcome.
i never thought i would feel sorry for william hague but i do.
(see i resisted the ‘backing him to the hilt’ or ‘standing behind him’ gags. i didn’t wonder if he drank 14 pints when he was with mr. myers… aren’t you proud of me?)

Wednesday, September 01, 2010


bath plug hole not draining as well as it should be. oh no!
get the plungy thing and plunge. plunge. plunge. plunge.
phew! that was hard work.
turn tap on.
still not draining.

go out get a proddy thing. prod. prod. prod.
proddy thing also pulls things up. pull. pull. pull.

i tell you 20-years of hair bits is pretty fucking gross and smelly.

drainage is fine now.

(soon to be a japanese horror movie.)