ban

i know i shouldn’t be calling for things to be banned. it is a bad idea; it is akin to book burning.
but just as there are times when book burning is a good thing – such as torching the works of jeffery archer and james patterson. there are also times when banning is a good thing. i may have argued to ban these before, they still deserve a mention.

ban anyone from using ‘narrative’ when they are talking about current events – as if we were all living in a post-modern scripted existence. so in his criticism of david cameron for the poor result of the election he points to the leadership debates as a mistake because ‘it changed the narrative’ of the campaign. when used this way narrative becomes a totally wanky word (i am pretty sure ‘wanky’ is an accepted form of literary analysis) that is full of portentous vim and vigour but really just means ‘shit happens and things change’.
though to be fair i do wish the current government was a narrative as i would skip forward a few chapters and get to the bit where they have been run off by the electorate for being ideological muggers.

ban senior politicians and business men from walking around in their suits without a tie. trust me gents it doesn’t make you look hip and trendy, it doesn’t make you look like you are ready to muck in with the rest of us, it doesn’t make you look young and thrusting. it just makes you look a tad sad with a large dollop of wannabe cred. if you really want to appeal to the kids: get the low slung baggy jeans on and get the wigger spirit on.
actually that i would pay to see: the con/dems as crips, clegg and cameron as homies with their plaid shirts buttoned at the neck, open the rest of the way down, showing the bright white wife beater vest. hell they both have the rappy hand movements.

ban members of the con/dem cabinet telling us how they sympathise with us at the unemployment and misery that the cuts will cause. yes they say we know it is painful but we are all in it together. i guess it is easy to say that when most of the cabinet are millionaires and we are not. we don’t want your crocodile tears you smug rich pricks anymore than we want your deep, dangerous, driven by ideology cuts.
as it looks like we are going to get the cuts, spare us the fake sympathy.

ban the tax payer’s alliance – they have nothing useful or interesting to say. oh and they are cunts.
mmm perhaps that is the beginnings of a manifesto for london mayor. hey and just to do my bit for the economy i would do the job for half the salary boris is getting. i know i know undercutting a working man is not the done thing for those of a socialist bent, as it is boris i reckon i can be forgiven. besides it is not like bojo isn’t already minted.