you are fat because...
two stories that give yet more reasons why people are fat.
on the bbc it is because fat people are better at smelling food. a keen sense of smell impels you to eat even when you are full. yup that works for me. everytime i go into my local newsagent the aroma of twix is overwheliming.
still the solution is cheap and easy: i present the fat peg (expect me soon on dragon's den with this). it is a large pink (for piggy) peg. the business ends will have strong but soft arms that will keep the nostrils closed. breathing will have to be done through the mouth. double fatbusting here - no smell, no desire, mouth needed for breathing no time for chewing. watch the pounds fall off.
of course a few of you are thinking but that will look silly - but no! attach a pair of sunglasses to the pegs and instant fashion accessory! maybe have the peg linked to a jaunty, but dangerously perched baseball cap and wow oh wow fashion statement (you lose weight, but never lose your hat - tres cool).
the mail on the other hand have pointed out that some scientists have found the greediness gene (i am sure they are working with dan brown to turn it into a highly successful novel/movie). just as it says the greediness gene makes us ..er.. greedy. being greedy means we eat more, we eat more we become fat, fatter, fattest.
this is an important breakthrough because by finding the greediness gene they can create drugs to combat it (and not that i am being cynical here, surely with that knowledge certain foods can be adjusted to make us be even more greedy for them - i think twix bars have already been tampered with). it is even more important in the uk because a quarter of all adults are obese, and this is the highest in all of europe.
funny how that greedy gene seems to have ended up in the uk and the usa. just how does that work?
still as i sit here typing this i am happy to know that i am fat, not because of me, but because of things beyond my control.
(porky pegs will be on sale in the new year, get your orders in now.
terms and conditions will apply, other fat busting gadgets are also available.)