-14

I remember: zen

For a brief time in my life I was a competent martial artist. I could ki-yay with the best of them. High kick? Not a problem. Side kick? Easy. Double punch? Nailed. Roundhouse kick? Getting there. Splits? Forget about it.
I enjoyed the training. I enjoyed the discipline, I enjoyed the philosophy, I enjoyed the honour and I enjoyed the skill it took to be a half way decent martial artist,
My sensei was a cross between david caradine and peter fonda, a rangy south African guy who was as hard as nails. He was happy to work his students until they cried (and several did). For him it wasn’t just about the fighting it was about the code of the warrior, it was as much about the spiritual as it was about the kicking. If we did not show respect to our fellow students or the dojo we were punished.
One day there was a small class, so instead of training sensei decided he would talk to us about our ki force and zen.
He told us of his sensei, who the ubiquitous wizened old oriental, who would challenge his students to move him. He would centre himself and they would push him. No mater their physical superiority they could never move him. He would not use muscle strength to stay in position but the force of his will. I read comics and this is that shit right there.
So after telling us about the strength of will power, the sensei decided to demonstrate. He knelt down and several of us started to push him. All we succeeded in doing was getting out of breath.
Then he told us to have a go.
We did.
I knelt down. I focused. I centred.
I felt hands on my shoulders. They pushed. Nothing happened. I gave no physical resistance but I was not moving. I was the rock.
Another pair of hands – more force being pushed against me. I could feel the energy in me. I wasn’t moving I was set. Wooo hooo. I was at the centre of the universe, it was nirvana. Lost horizon and liv ulman here I come. To use a much-abused word it was awesome. Not quite the cosmic consciousness of Castaneda or icke but close.
It was pure and beautiful, an experience of inner peace and internal power.
Then some bastard pushes from the side and I tumble like a house of cards.
The moment gone.
The magic lost.
The memory, though remains.

It was a much better experience than the time I missed a block while sparring, got kicked straight in the bollocks and was walking like john wayne after a long day in the saddle.