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Saturday, February 11, 2012

temptation

due to a severe case of poverty i have decided that 2012 is a year without new books. this is a major hardship for me because i love buying books. i really love buying books. i don't need any new books as i have more than enough unread books to carry me through for a couple of years. that is not the point. i want new books. this wanting, this needing is a compulsion. i know it. i neded help. i have an addictive personality (which isn't to say that people can't get enough of me and always crave their hit of pat)unlike my parents it doesn't manifest itself in a love of drink. my downfall is that i am a collector. (my name is pat adn i am a collector - i need help.) collecting is a disease. it can be controlled, it can be managed. but it can get out of hand. as a collector one of the most important things to know is what there is to collect: that way you know what you have and what you are missing. you also have to know if the thing you are collecting has finished or is ongoing. if ongoing you have to know the frequency it comes out so you know when to get the next one. the addiction comes with filling in holes or just getting the latest one to maintain the collection. i don't mind admitting that collecting can spiral out of control. this is especially true when it beomes hoarding. ooops that is where i am. i am no longer a collector. i am a hoarder. the shame. however as i have said at the start of this piece i have a plan for 2012: no new books. six weeks in and i haven't bought a new book. six weeks in and i still want new books. siz weeks in and i am still checking amazon to see what new books there are. six weeks in and i am still looking at the bestsellers in sainsburys. still not bought a new book. six weeks in and i am still clean. six weeks in and i have read 5 old books. still all is not good. today there i was in wh smiths looking at their recent releases (they have more than sainsburys, as befits a sort of bookshop). they used to have a buy one get one 1/2 price type deal, now they have moved to a 3 for 2 deal. so very very tempting. i nearly cracked when i saw one book. that one book nearly had me caving in and buying books. what made it even worse was the type of book it was i was tempted by, i nearly bought a self-help book. i know, i know. shocking. you could have bent me over and tickled my sphincter. i held firm. i stood strong. i walked out. no new books bought. i resisted. it was close though.

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