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Tuesday, July 10, 2012


life is full of shades of grey (way more than 50, i just thought i would get a topical literary and cultural talking point in as normally i am so low brow), which is why we value consistency. we like to know that there are some things that will remain the same – it explains why places like starbucks and pizza hut (other restaurants and coffee shops are available) are so popular: not because they serve the best coffee or pizza, but because we know what we will be getting. 

it is also important in people - we want to know that when someone says something they mean it and believe it. it isn’t that people can’t change their minds it is just that they can’t keep flitting from idea to idea every time the wind changes. we hate it when politicians just change their stance for no real reason (it is different if they explain why they have moved their stance).

yes given the current political and economic situation you are probably expecting me to wax lyrical and polemically about the state of the nation.
well dear reader i am about to disappoint you for you see the consistency that is exercising me right now is the consistency of my poo.

yes my poo.

see most of the time i do nice solid logs. i sit on the bog, have a read and let loose the crap torpedo, read some more and depart. big job done.
most of the time.

not sure what has changed in my diet but at the moment i am going through a period of changeable poo. sometimes it is little hard pellets, almost dainty. sometimes it is soft and gooey: oozing out. neither provides the satisfaction of a good solid job well done. there have been false alarms where i have felt the need for speed only to be sitting on the throne several chapters later with nothing but dead legs to show for it. or the occasions when it felt like i was passing barbed wire (and that brought tears to the eyes), or the times i have had to squeeze out what felt like it was a bowling ball, the effort bringing out a sweat and bring a red mist down on me.

fear not dear friend. all seems back to normal. and i have a modicum of consistency in my poo again. rejoice.
i started off with 50 shades of grey and i end on 50 shades of brown – one is interesting the other has sold (ahem) shit loads. 

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