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Friday, February 04, 2011


i have admitted that i am useless at providing people with directions.
i either give too little information (over there) or too much information (and when you get past this shop, which by the way sells some really useful stuff if you happen to be looking for reconditioned computers, but it will be closed now).
recently i have done well in directing people to where they need to go - admittedly they were only a couple of streets away from where they wanted to be.
however i did have one recently failure which resulted in me having to run after the poor girl and then lead her to where she wanted to be. i am pretty sure the sight and sound of an an old overweight hairy bloke charging (though that does give the impression of speed) down the road probably is one she is still trying to forget.
but hey i got her to where she wanted to be.

i still must report other failures - but with the caveat of don't be so stupid as to ask for the following directions:
"do you know where the burberry outlet store is?" more clued in members of the youth would have had no trouble with this question. as i am an old bloke who looks like he has just gotten off of his harley hog in order to eat a very large kebab i am so obviously not the person to ask. it is also one of those places that if you know it exists (it does) you check out where it is before you go to it. of course i have since checked where it is - in case the question arises again - and can now proudly point people in the direction of their hackney store.

do not ask where a postcode is. my name is pat, but i am not a postman and i have no fucking idea where the postcodes are. generally if you have the 5 or 6 digits to the postcode you can pretty easily find out where it is by looking on the internet before you come out. let's be honest if someone has given you a postcode but not the road and door number there is a chance they don't want you there.

finally don't ask if i happen to know where the 79 bus stop is.
i don't know, but i will direct you to the aldgate bust station and let them sort it out.

probably best if you just didn't ask me directions at all.
i am a little like david cameron, george osborne and nick clegg - pretty clueless in how to get to where you want to be going.
(see managed to squeeze in a political barb as well. awesome.)

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