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Thursday, February 24, 2011

blame

me and muammar share somethings in common.
we can both talk for hours.
we both talk a load of bollocks.
we both like amazonian bodyguards.

however i have not been able to bring about the patocracy, i would be a benign dictator. imagine me at the united nations giving long rambling speeches that not only mangled the english language but also included fart gags (c'mon you know that would unite the world in laughter more than any joke ban ki moon has ever cracked).
like muammar i would have no problems dealing with successive governments who support me while i am strong and then suddenly find a conscience when the people rise up against me (not that they ever will because they will always be chuckling at a fart gag or two and in times of national crisis i will unleash the world's funniest gags: "yes it does." and "he was collecting pineapples").
nor would i have any problems with buying favours from institutions and people from around the world, people and institutions who would have no qualms taking the gold/oil/cash of republic of pat but who would suddenly develop a stiff moral backbone when it looked as if the patocracy was going to crumble (oh how i feel ashamed of the london school of economics - you failed me in my masters and now you say 'oh that colonel he is a bad boy' as if it is some big surprise).

where me and muammar part company is when it comes to blame.
i was taught to accept responsibility (except, oddly, when it came to farts and then suddenly as far as my mum and dad were concerned it was the dog's fault, this habit of blaming the dog continued long after we didn't have a pooch), but never let it be said the pat can't learn, that the pat can't see how to do things better.
now thanks to muammar i know just what to do when my next harebrained scheme goes south (and currently i am having to come up with a lot of half-thought out, making it up on the fly type plans), yes next time that happens it is the fault of the drug crazed masses, al qaeda and osama bin laden. yup it is their fault and not mine.
of course i could take a leaf out of david cameron's book and just blame those in the public sector.

perhaps that is what muammar should be claiming he is doing: radical changes to the public sector, creating the big society and letting in the private sector. if he did that then i reckon cameron and co would be in their like a shot offering sage words of advice.
at worst it would give something to nick clegg to do, when he comes back off holiday. 

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