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Wednesday, August 23, 2006


i have long hated summer, not sure anything is ever going to change my opinion on it.
sure there are lots of nice things about the summer: short skirts, tight shirts, bronzed cleavage... oh ok pretty all that is good about summer is the fact that the ladies look lovely. so i am shallow.
this summer i have survived a little better than previous summers. i can hear you all whispering "how pat? how?" simple gentle reader i finally bought myself some sandals. in the past i was adverse to such footwear because of the associations it had with folk music and getting old. well as i am getting old and there is a hip happening neo-folk music scene. pat is wearing sandals.
there are no socks worn with these sandals, as that would be a major fashion faux pas and it would make me look as if i was very old or an american tourist.
now i have to confess that the sandals are cheap and so there is a tendency that at the end of a long day for there to be a bit of a whiff, but it is a small price to pay for a lower body temperature and some soap and water in the evening brings everything back to normal...

however there is a major drawback to sandals that i feel i must report: the splashback. there you are in the toilet, standing proud at the urinal and pointing percy at the porcelain and letting fly with an almighty stream (oh ok a dribble) of pee, the relief of a fast emptying bladder is all too real, a sigh of pleasure and then suddenly you feel it. yes dear reader the splashback - the naked unprotected (but cool) foot registers a drop of fluid, you know it isn't rain and all it can be is a bit of a golden shower.
it has to be said it does take the edge of the pleasurable relief of emptying your bladder.
even worse when you have no option but to be there having a leak with strangers. is it mine or theirs that has splashed down on my naked foot? it doesn't bear thinking about.

the only thing worse is when it is so hot you have to wear shorts and then you can feel the splashback further up your naked leg! ugh ugh ugh.

but it is a small inconvenience to pay for being able to stay a little bit cooler during the summer.


Red said...

Funny how letting those little piggies flap in the breeze can make all the difference, uh? I can honestly say that my life changed a gear when I started wearing flip-flops. Of course, as a girl, I don't experience the sort of drawback you mention (am I allowed a "eew"?) , and I get to paint my toenails red, which makes most feet look lovely.

pat said...

i have to say a "eew" is in order.

mind you i am going to pass on painting my toes red, not because of gender issues, but because i am so fat now i can't reach them...