zips

there is a primordial part of each man's brain that fears zips (trust me it's in freud and even joseph cambpell has written about it). as we have become more civilised and moved away from being hunter gathers we have faced fewer and fewer challenges to our manhood. but the zip is always there, always waiting and always ready to strike.
the zip has two modes of attack, and as men we have been trained to protect ourselves against each, but even the most vigilant can slip sometimes.
there is the direct zip attack - we have all suffered this at some time, normally in our formative year. a cavalier tug on the zip, the merciless teeth draw closed catching a bite of the most tender of flesh, a moment of dumb comprehension, too slow to stop the upward movement and then the burning, searing white hot pain that chokes the voice from your throat and brings tear to the eye. and the only hope you have is that a gentle downward pull will release the precious organ from the deadly peril without any recourse to an outside party.
this is the attack we most guard against, we are aware of the zips frontal attack we defend against it. only the most complacent get caught.

the other attack of the zip is the silent and deadly one.
it's where the zip just lowers itself, allowing you to air you most intimate of parts but without you knowing it is happening. oh sure we try to protect against this. the surreptitious tug on the zip every now and then to assure ourselves it is up and we are protected. but the zip is crafty, it is cunning, it has patience and it will wait and then when you least expect it you are standing on the bus oblivious to all and sundry and then you realise that there is something wrong - it's a slow feeling, a sixth sense and then it hits you - your flies are undone and you are for all intents and purposes flashing the woman who is sitting in the seats facing you.
the zip has won and you know it. shame for flashing and shame for being caught out engulf you.

yes yes damnit i admit it was me - i was caught out by the zip.

ah lucky for me the 25 bus wasn't that busy at that time and the lights were low.... or else it would have been worse.

but now i double check, triple check and then check again that the zip is done up.

heed my tale, check the zip do not get caught out.