tears

i know the guys will understand this.
i read somewhere that the body does not remember pain - to a large extent i might believe that, except for one thing.
and all i have to say for the guys to know what i am talking about is ZIPPER.
oh yes mention zippers and mentally guys will wince, probably all blokes have a memory of being a little too hasty in the toilet, a forceful tug of the zipper and that eye bulging moment of white hot pain as you realise you have caught your knob in the uncaring teeth of the zipper.
hell even writing this now is making my eyes water and toes curl.

so imagine how i felt when i read the story of romanian constantin mocanu, 67 years old, who rushed out into his garden in order to kill a noisy chicken who was preventing constantin from sleeping.
instead of doing the chicken as he had planned constantin cut off his own penis, which was promptly eaten by his dog.
now i have let out several silent ooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwws as i have typed this.
and no i am not making this up (you just couldn't make it up if you tried).
look if you don't believe go to the daily telegraph's website and see for yourself here (and if you need to register go ahead it's free and you get to read boris johnson as well).

even in the midst of tears, leg crossing and biting of knuckles in order to prevent a shrill shriek of pain i still have to think at what point (even in a sleep addled state) can you forget where your cock is ? look i don't think it's bragging to say that even in the dark and with my eyes closed i can find mine! so you have to wonder at the state of poor old constantin's mind at the time of the deed.
and whichever hand he used to chop with was plenty strong or the blade was as sharp as a samurai's blade because it was all done in one fell slash.
you just have to love the dog as well - no care for his master (who just had to have screamed) he was in there straight away - fresh meat!! fresh meat!!

hell i am a veggie and even i want to go out and eat a chicken just to show solidarity with constantin!

constantin proves that while he may not know the difference between his knob and a chicken's neck he is the mast of the understatement
He said: "I confused it with the chicken's neck. I cut it and the dog rushed and ate it."

when he has a moment to reflect i bet he wished he had just choked the chicken.