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Friday, July 05, 2013


what do you call a block of flats full of cunts? cunts.

every now and then you read something in the paper that leaves you agog.
mouth open in fly catching stunned mode.
part of you is shocked and part of you is angry and another part is laughing at the sheer hunour of the story (and wondering why it is being aired now and not back in april).

the short piece in the london evening standard about nick house (geddit) and his plan to create little hubs of cool and interesting people around london. is one such story.
the basic plan is this: no suits and no one over 40 allowed and this will create a micro-society that is dynamic, social and fun. i kid you not. the first development will contain 12 flats in a mix of one and two bedrooms, starting price is likely to be £800,000.
if the price tag wasn't going to be enough to whittle down the number of applicants mr. house is only interested in those in their 20s and 30s who are successful: maybe a partner in a top ad agency or a successful tech start-up. already the will to live has left.
to get the project off to the right start the first few buyers will be hand picked to set the right 'cool tone'.

you would like to think that if someone was genuinely cool they would regard such an invite in the same way that groucho marx would have done.
the problem is they aren't so they won't.

to add to it all there will be a 'patron' figure who will organise the daily activities for those who live there.
what a job to have mollycoddling a bunch of wannabe alphas: where do i apply.

i suppose there is an advantage or two to be had by them all being clustered in one place. firstly it makes them easier to avoid. Secondly we know where to go come the revolution.

the only question now is what will the call it?
cuntopia? knobville? knobtown? arseholeville?
so many choices.

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