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Tuesday, May 21, 2013


get it out and get it ready

at the best of times i have problems with humanity.
sure there are a lot of very nice people out there. i have been blessed by having some very wonderful friends.
individually i quite like a lot of people (true there are an awful lot of individuals i despise; it is a long shit list).

but it is rare that i can say i like mass humanity.
there is a lot of guff about the wisdom of crowds - the people who wrote that obviously don't spend too much time in crowds and spend too much time in the gilded halls of academia coming up with bollocks that they can sell to business leaders who want to appear with it and hip and happening.

recently i have had reason to use the tube on several occasions.
i like the tube. i think my liking of the tube goes back to the times when i was stuck out in the suburbs of west london and the tube meant going into the exciting, thrilling london: journeying from dullness to wonderment.
back then i rarely traveled during rush hour, back then it was a ticket you can to the ticket collector at the gates - hoping that you had ripped off the right half of the ticket on the first leg of the journey.

now it is all whiz whaz oyster cards.
press it down and bish bosh the gates open and you go through.

rush hour is longer than an hour and is filled with people who do thw journey day after day after day.
seasoned veterans.
people who know the drill.
so you would think.

look i am out of practice but i know that before i can get to the tune i am going to have to go through the ticket barrier and in order to do that i have to have my oyster card ready.
it is not rocket science.
no oyster card (or ticket) and you are not getting through the ticket barrier.

here is another fact about tube stations - the ticket barriers are always in the same place.
go there once and you will know where they are.
no surprises.
again: simple.

so why by all that is round and yellow and can be called cheese do so many people who are regular commuters get right up to the ticket barrier and then realise that they need their ticket and then start to look through their bag or that coat or even their coat and bag before pulling out their oyster and using it with a triumphant swagger as if they had done something complex, difficult and dangerous - rather than the pedestrian regular thing it is.

these people deserve to share the same circle of hell as the wankers who decide that they will have a conversation smack dab in the middle of the stairs.

yes you are all wankers.
and yes you are all reasons why there are times i have little compassion for humanity.

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