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Monday, April 09, 2012


i have come to the understanding that perhaps i am not a people person. this hit home recently as i was dashing between exhibitions while there was a mild rain drizzling down. having described children as being annoying i must now turn my attention to adults. i shall preface this by saying that it is highly possible that, as someone once told me, that being unemployed leads to long periods where you are not mingling with the daily crush of people and so when you do the worst of their actions just irk you even more. it may also be that i am very petty. i leave it to you to judge. one of the exhibitions i was going to was a mass of heaving bodies all straining to get into the gallery and then to see the art on display. from the get go there were people there who seemed hellbent on being annoying and awkward. to get to the gallery proper you have to climb a wide staircase - that has ample space for people to walk up on the right hand side and to walk down on the left hand side. or it would do if people stuck to the convention of walking up on the right. or if people didn't sit down on the stairs to wait for their friends. or if people didn't stop to have a conversation about whether to go to the shop before or after seeing the exhibition. i knew the show was going to be busy, so i was prepared for all the slow shuffling that would have to be done in order to see the work, or the mad dash across the space to get to see a painting that was, for the moment, without viewers. all of this is slow and tiring work. it is not made easier by: people who decide to get close to the painting and then have a conversation about jenny at the office, while i am sure the gossip is scintillating - don't stand in front of the paintings the rest of us want to see. people who find it necessary to send text messages while standing in front of paintings the rest of us want to see. why on earth pay £15 to into a gallery to spend your time in there not looking at art, but stopping other people from doing so. staying with texting, almost as heinous is the texter who has decided to start texting and stop walking in the middle of the galleries connecting doors. add to that the couple who have decided that the archway between galleries is the perfect spot to discuss what to have for supper and you have bottleneck annoyance. then there are the people who don't know how to say 'excuse me' and then just barge through. or their mirror image those that don't understand 'excuse me' and remain in place even after you have asked several times, but they can get shirty when you end up having to push by. as i mentioned there was light rain that day, so even outside the confines of the gallery you still have the problems of mass humanity just being annoying. light rain means big umbrellas. big umbrellas does not mean people in complete control of their brollies. nope. no siree. not that they care as anyone who might bang into their umbrella is at fault. same with the walking texters - blackberrys and iphones (i am sure there are other smartphones available) must come with the instructions 'when out walking it is the responsibility of other pedestrians to get out of your way.' when brolly and smartphone are in use together - you may as well walk in the road as it is safer. so there gentle readers is a few of the reasons why i am not overly keen on the world at large. my walking here and there to see various exhibitions left me feeling a bit peckish. could i find a tesco metro anywhere? no. yet near me there seems to be one on every corner. it might have been because i wanted one - they had all decided to hide. several times during the day i was confronted with the 'i know it is coming but i won't have my travelcard/ wallet ready until i really really need it' syndrome. just have it ready, it is not hard and it is not like it is a surprise. why do parents forget what it is like to splash about in puddles? a couple of times i saw parents drag their kids away from having fun jumping up and down in a puddle (they were wearing wellies). i tell you let kids enjoy the simple pleasures of life a little longer and perhaps they won't grow up being obese and just happy to spend all day at the computer. why can't cyclists use the road? why do they expect pedestrians on the pavement to get out of their way? i am putting my misanthropic mood down to a chest cold i just can't shake. though it could be to do with me being a miserable git.

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