amused

you may be aware that london hosts the olympics next year.
you may also be aware of the travails of my ticketing adventure.
what you might not be aware of is the series of ‘tester’ events that are being put on over the next several months in preparation for the games: the london prepares series.
i had sort of ignored them. then they mentioned that the turn out for the basketball event had been disappointing and that there were tickets still left for the final night of the event. mmm i thought maybe i should chance it and go. i check the website and it is a ticketed event. of course this close to the tip-off there is no chance of using the internet ticketing service (though why that is the case i don’t know). it being a sunday there is no one to phone (though why that is the case i don’t know – if there are people there taking the tickets there should be someone there answering the phones: commonsense really). naturally it being one of those websites it doesn’t actually tell you what you want to know where you can find it (why don’t they make these things clear and simple)?
the time i spent hunting around the various websites meant that i wouldn’t get there in time for the game at 6pm so i might as well watch that on tv (the bbc providing the service – guess sky couldn’t be bothered to pay for it). i settled down to watch two games of basketball only to be given one game. that pesky bbc lied to me – let me write an outraged letter to the daily mail. it was all made worse by the fact the game they should was england versus the australians and we lost in the last minute of overtime.
so a note to everyone there are london prepares events (i now believe that the riots were arranged to be part of this) so go check out the site to see if there is something going on near you. give yourself plenty of time to explore the website – you may need it.
none of this is what amused me.
what tickled me was in wondering if i could take my camera with me i discovered their list of proscribed items. a useful document it is too and i am sure will help people decide exactly what they can and can’t take with them when they go to the olympics.
here are a few of the items you can’t take with you:
• weapons including firearms, knives and crossbows
• explosive devices and explosive materials
• ammunition
• incendiary devices
• hazardous substances under the dangerous goods act (such as chemicals, irritants and gas canisters)

now i can see why you don’t want them there – i am not sure why you are listing them in a document. firstly they are illegal and secondly if you are going to be carrying these things around with you a list of prohibited items isn’t going to deter you. i suppose the only advantage of being caught with them when trying to watch the basketball at the olympic park is that you are refused entry – out on stratford high street if you were caught with them you might end up in jail.

and just so we are clear on this it also says

• any other item that is illegal to possess

on the ‘restricted’ side of things they include:

• large quantities of coins
which is either good or bad. good because it implies that stuff on the olympic park is going to be cheap so you don’t need to bring too much money with you. or bad because it is telling you that it is so expensive that you may as well just bring notes because nothing is going to be less than a fiver.

and if proof was needed that it was going to cost you a lot this is also restricted


• unreasonable quantities of food (i.e. beyond the equivalent of a small packed lunch)
so make sure you have your credit cards with you as you will need them. of course one man’s packed lunch is another man’s snack. i guess they are going to decide on what is a ‘small packed lunch’ based on your girth. not that you can take too much with you as they have a restriction on the size of bags you can have.
the bag thing is sensible because you never know if they are going to be carrying in hand grenades with their extra round of sandwiches.

i am sure it is a document that will deter terrorists. i know i wouldn’t be packing and extra portions.

go on you know you want me to say it: it is health and safety gone mad (until someone does shoot someone and then the daily mail will ask why didn’t they do something to prevent guns being carried on to the site).