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damien green, the immigration minister, is calling on conservatives to prepared to pass the danny boyle test (i hope he has had words to make sure that michael gove hasn't fiddled with the pass marks), by this he means a celebration of diversity and, one supposes, wholehearted support of the national health service (mr. cameron must be thanking his lucky stars that the bbc was not trumpeted in the olympic opening ceremony).

mr green gives a description of what he sees as being one nation toryism (the fabled ideal of the conservative party): "essentially, one nation conservatism means that every individual deserves a chance to contribute to the health of our society. no-one should be written off because of their background."

not so sure they have a good track record there.

he goes on to say: "if we don't like modern britain, then it is very unlikely that modern britain will like us".

damien, damien, damien. friend, mate me old cocker let me whisper in your shell like - modern britain doesn't like you and there is very little you can do about that.
each and every day that people lose their jobs or see their standards of living cut - they like you even less, and dislike you even more.
each and every day that they see their services cut or hear you blame them for the current economic situation  - they like you even less, and dislike you even more.

what's worse we don't trust you with your talk of compassionate conservatism or of being one nation tories.

my advice don't bother sitting the danny boyle test, you've failed that one already.
go see mr. gove i am sure he can whip up a test you can pass.