-21

i remember throwing up
i might not have been the most punctual of employees but the one thing i could be counted on was turning up. in all my years of work there were only a few times that i didn’t make it into work. there was a time when i had the flu – not man-flu but dyed in the wool real knocked for a loop couldn’t move thought i was dying flu. the other time i called in sick it was so i could spend more time in coventry trying to patch up my relationship with my ex. it was time badly spent.
some might think i was dedicated – the truth was more to do with the fact that i lived alone and i quite liked playing the martyr act and getting sympathy from others. shallow? you bet.
this particular day had started off fine and dandy.
the usual round of talking to retailers, selling them books and dealing with their problems. going into the warehouse to pull an order or two and chatting with the lads. an average day.
it may have been the veggie burger i had eaten from the snacks wagon. it may have been a delayed reaction to something i had eaten the night before. it could have been anything. about midday day i was feeling like shit. a little later i was feeling shitter and very soon i was feeling even worse than shit. i had the cold sweats. i was burning up. i was shaking. i couldn’t see straight and there was a headache that banged and throbbed.
i was in no condition to work.
so i decided to do the only sensible thing: go home.
i said my goodbyes and headed off, rather slowly and unsteadily, to the tube station.
i finally got there – it was an effort.
bromley-by-bow is a so so tube station – neither good nor bad. it just is. i go through the barriers and head to the platform. i get down the first flight stairs and then it happened. it bubbled up out of nowhere and exploded out. i hurled. i heaved. i coated the stairs with runny puke. a big puddle of runny puke.
it was the first time i have ever thrown up in public. it wasn’t nice. i didn’t like it.
i went back to the ticket office. i wanted to know if they had a toilet so i could clean up and if they could give me a mop and a bucket of water to clean up my mess. no and no. well that was helpful. i wasn’t going to argue. i was just interested in getting home so i could sleep and get over whatever it was i had.
back to the platform.
i walked by the big puke puddle i had made.
i got to the platform. any train will do. first one comes in and i decide to let it go – not sure why just a feeling. then as it leaves the station i feel another quiver in the stomach, another surge and before i know it i am bent over expelling more puke and bile than i ever thought possible. pints and pints of it. where had it all been? no idea. i just knew where it all was – all over the platform.
it is bad enough puking in public (twice) now i was left with a horrid acrid taste in my mouth and no chance of getting rid of it.
i cuffed what was on my mouth and chin.
i was a mess and i knew it.
i must have looked ashen faced. i felt even worse.
everyone was looking at me. their accusing eyes seeing me as a drunk or an addict – i wanted to tell them i was really sick. honestly i was sick. i am sick i wanted to shout out. i didn’t. they looked at me as if i were evil.
fortunately the journey home was short and uneventful.
i sat down and turned the tv on and there was dipsy of the teletubbies playing in a green puddle.
it made me smile.