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Saturday, October 01, 2016


i remember the day my mum bought the lottery

on the phone to my mum.

the usual you alright, i'm alright back and forth.

the lottery had been launched the week before. i hadn't bought a ticket. there was no moral angst about this was going to encourage gambling from me, more a case of i am not lucky, therefore i won't win, keep my money and spend it on something else (true the something else i would spend it on would be frivolous and wasteful but that is besides the point).

mum on the other hand was quite happy to get a ticket.

come the moment of the numbers being announced mum had discovered that she hadn't won anything no surprises there.

so she was telling me this and then she said, i am sure the ticket will win next week.

no mum, i patiently explained, you have to buy a new ticket next week.

what? another ticket?

yes a new ticket.

every week?

yes every week.

are you sure?

yes i am pretty sure you have to get a new ticket each week.

after that she was less thrilled with the lottery than she was before.

it didn't stop her dreaming about winning.

over the next many years conversations about anything would be interrupted by a well worn progression.

we might be talking about the weather – ah but wouldn't it be nice to win a £100 on the lottery?

we'd then talk about a problem with a neighbour – ah but i don't want much £500 win would be enough.

then we'd be talking about her bunions playing up – ah if only i could win £1000, that'd be good.

oh i heard from uncle paddy, he's doing fine – musha but £5000 on the lottery is all i need,

did you get caught in the rain yesterday? - mm what would i do with £10, 000 from the lottery?

can you get me some more books when you come over next? £25,000 would be a real nice amount to win.

was a bit nippy last night are you keeping yourself warm? £50,000 isn't too much to ask for is it?

my electricity bill was a bit much this time, i tell you i wouldn't sniff at a £100,000.

i see that nice bruce forsythe is in the news again, i'd settle for a quarter of a million pound, wouldn't you?

off to the doctor's tomorrow have you had a check up recently. half a million sounds nice doesn't .

sainsbury's didn't have what i wanted. i could do with a millions pound win.

did you hear from that nice girl? fancy winning five million.

as the lottery wins got higher so did her eventual end amount grow.

sadly for both of us she never won.

still every time i remember to do the lottery i can't help but think it would be nice to win a fiver.

a tenner,

fifty quid.

a ton.

a thousand pound.

half a million.

five million.

the 3 week roll-over jackpot.

unfortunately you can't spend wishes.

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