Thursday, March 29, 2012
i don't drive so i don't care if the tanker drivers go on strike. i quite like the idea that lots of cars might be stranded and the streets empty of motorists, the government has responded to the threat of the strike by having soldiers train to be stand-in tanker drivers. a sensible move on the part of the government. that seems to have been the only bit of sense they have shown. i can understand why david cameron and george osborne (what not nick clegg? no, i mean who cares what he thinks - he is dead man walking) are none too keen on the country being blackmailed by a small group of people, it is just a shame that they didn't show this amount of backbone when it was the financial sector or those earning £150,000 - i guess it is just hard to say no to your friends. while the contingency planning is sensible the sense of panic that they are fostering hasn't been of much help to man or beast. francis maude has shown himself to be a bit of a tit, bless his cotton socks. his helpful advice was for drivers to stockpile petrol at home. not that this act would cause the shortage that they are so worried about, even though the automobile association are saying that there is no evidence that there is a shortage of petrol in the country and, lest we forget, the drivers haven't actually gone on strike. so deliveries of petrol is still getting to the forecourts. not an issue for francis. just stockpile that petrol. have a few jerrycans of it lying about the place. after all what could be the harm in having spare petrol in your house. what could go wrong? the fact that it is apparently illegal to store petrol at home cut no ice with francis maude. in fact for francis that almost makes it better because not only does storing petrol mean that they can avert the problems of the strike but now he can deliver a bit of a body blow to another of the tory parties great hates: health and safety. how dare someone tell mr. maude that storing petrol is illegal and it might be dangerous. what utter tosh, what balderdash. don't these people know that there is a potential, maybe maybe not happening, crisis at the pumps? don't these people know that i am providing them with a workable and sensible solution: store petrol at home (even you people who live in blocks of flats - c'mon you know it makes sense). in order not to give ground to the health and safety wallahs he had to cut the ground out from under them. he did so beautifully, and in doing so he has given us a new excuse. no longer do we have to fall back on the tried and trusted 'i was doing it for research'. now those of us in need of a way out, in need of an excuse can use the francis maude gambit. when being told that his idea of storing petrol was dangerous. he responded by saying his critics were being 'absurdly technical'. the man is a genius. sadly wiser heads at tory hq have prevailed and mr. maude's advice has been quietly dropped.