belts

i seem to be having a run of bad luck when it comes to belts. a few weeks ago i broke a nice worn in belt. one day it had the prong that did the business, the next day the prong was gone and the belt was no more than a strip of fake leather with some holes in it. i buy a new belt. not as good as the previous one, it is stiff and, unusually, a size too big. still it did a job: kept my jeans up and stopped me looking like one of those sad middle-aged men who shuffle around in baggy saggy jeans pretending that they are still young, hip and trendy when really they look like charlie chaplin impersonators who have shat themselves.
new belt, not so good, but does the job.
this morning i go to put the belt on and there is no prong.
stop the presses it is a bloody conspiracy. questions need to be asked. what? how? why? answers need to be given.
perhaps i should just start getting jeans with an elasticated waist, true that is an admission that i am a fat bastard but it will save on belts.