wankers

this is the start of an occasional series where i celebrate a current wanker. however i am not talking about inventive self lovers but the people who just irritate and annoy and leave you thinking: “wanker!”

now i can’t speak from experience but i suspect that some of the qualities to being a sports star would include: talent (natch – just thought i would state the obvious), drive, dedication and focus. even more important than all those would be the unerring self belief in your ability and your right to be at the top. this belief sometimes tips over into something that can be called the “youniverse” where everything is about you or is for your benefit alone.

so step forward jamie murray to take the first of the “pat’s wanker awards”, but to his credit jamie is not just accepting it on behalf of himself but also for his brother, andrew. the murrays are british tennis stars, jamie lives in his brother’s shadow, and andrew is currently 8th in the world. i confess that as a failed sportsman (hell i have more failed potential behind me than most people even dream of… though is it something to brag about?) i can only admire someone who has the skill to get to be the 8th best player in his sport in the world, but any standards that is pretty awesome.
that said i find it incredibly easy to dislike the murrays, it is not their arrogance (it goes hand in hand with what they do, but the true sports icons are generally those who let their performances do the talking for them).

but why am i singling jamie out? i hear you ask.
be quiet in the back and i will tell you.
i was having a coffee in the incomparable coffee@ in brick lane after an interesting viewing of student art. i found myself scanning the guardian’s sports pages.

at this point i should make it clear that the only real interest i have in tennis is thinking about the williams sisters and martina hinges rolling around in baby oil.

anyway the headline of the piece screams, “murray
slams britain’s love of first-round losers.” he has a dig at those who have made television careers out of the fact that they were heroic first round losers at wimbledon. while i can understand what he is getting at i doubt many casual fans can name many of those who have had heroic defeats and if they have made successful careers on tv it is either because they are good at it, or that they are not as bad as everyone else who is trying it.

he goes on to say: “everything is set up for all british tennis players and, if they fail to reach their potential, it is their own fault.”
while you are nodding in agreement and thinking to yourself here is a man who speaks some sense

but then he ruins it all when he defends the fact that his brother’s coach, brad gilbert, is paid for by the lawn tennis association.
"andy is the potential wimbledon champion that the country so badly craves and brad could help him achieve that," says murray. "it seems a small price to pay, especially since andy winning wimbledon would bring thousands more kids into the game and help us find more champions.
"coaches like brad charge what seems like a lot of money for coaching tennis but, if you are the lta and he's taking your top singles player to no8 in the world, and probably much higher in years to come, then isn't he worth every penny? some people have even suggested that andy pay the money back, which i just don't agree with. andy's giving plenty back to this country by being eighth in the world."

the lta are a cash rich operation and they have the right to spend their money how they like. the irony of it all is that the lta are rich because of wimbledon, even though there has not been a british winner since the 70s, so it is not like they need a british winner to make money.
but it is the galling presumption on the part of murray that they should be getting the money by right and the grasping greed of someone who is rich not wanting to spend their money on their career.

i always have this problem with the funding of sports, and with the 2008 olympics fast approaching you can probably expect me to mouth of more about it.

i am all for aspiring athletes getting a degree of funding, but then i would also say everyone is entitled to get a state grant to study at university. yet we live in a topsy turvey world where someone who wants to run fast or play tennis expects to get money in order to help them follow their dream, but someone who wants to be a lawyer, scientist, doctor, academic has to take a loan out to pay for their education and then they have to pay it back.
why can’t the same be true of elite sportsmen.?

to get back to murray the interesting thing is that he is number 8 in the world. tennis is a sport where the prize money is pretty good. so lets scoot over to the association of tennis professionals ( atp
) site and see how murray is doing. so far this year to date he has won $544,000. while his career to date winnings are $1,450,000, (we’ll ignore income from endorsements).
so andrew murray certainly sounds like someone who should be going around with a begging bowl in order to pay his coach.

but as jamie says, andrew is giving so much back to the country by being 8th in the world.
lets look at that shall we. giving back how? because people enjoy watching him play? i am sure lots do get excited at watching him play. they will also pay to watch him play. so the enjoyment is paid for, the pleasure is bought.
he gives back because he encourages lots of others to take up the sport. i concede that point. good for andy. still not sure it is worth the cost of an expensive coach.
what makes the claim of “giving back” such trite bollocks is that murray has chosen to play tennis for his own benefit, for his own glory and his own riches. when he finally wins wimbledon i doubt very much he will be singing the praises of the lta. nor do i expect that the state of the nation will change that much because one man has covered himself in glory.
nor do i expect the mood of the nation to change drastically if he wins. i doubt if my local community will be moved to have street parties, nor do i expect that my love life will improve because he has won. at best there will be some sore heads from people who drank too much and a lot of dull conversations about tennis in workplaces around the country the next day.
importantly murray is pursuing his dream and luckily he is making lots of money at it and is also getting other people to pay part of the costs of his dream. if he never wins another tournament he has already had a great result there.

i admire someone who has managed to make their living from their dream. i just wish they wouldn’t keep expecting me to be grateful to them for their success.

for that reason jamie murray get the pat wanker award