floaters

perhaps i should preface this by a warning: do not read if you are eating or have a nervous disposition (or more importantly: if you have taste).
most of the time when you hear the word floaters it is in a tv series such as “csi wherever”, and it is when a dead body has been discovered in a river or washed up on the beach, hence “floater” (though in some cases it would have been better to say “beached” but perhaps that is a moment of too much semantics). generally the floater is a disgusting thing the water and amphibious creatures having taken a toll on the dead body.

there are times when floater is used for a much more intimate experience.

i confess i have no idea what has caused it, but recently i can’t take a dump without leaving a floater behind. just in case you have no idea what i am going on about, a floater is when you after you have done you job and flushed you are greeted with a log that has been left behind.
it bobs in the toilet bowl just mocking you: “is that the best flush you have?”
mostly a second flush gets it.
sometimes even the second flush is ineffective.
even worse is when you flush and wash and leave only to return that night to discover a floater soup in the bowl.

i don’t think i have changed my diet. i don’t think that the toilet flush is weaker, all i can think it is i am doing much bigger poohs than normal.
if i was of a david icke like persuasion i might think that there was a global conspiracy to bring down modern society by creating blockages in the system or that this recent development of large stools is to do with global warming.

for the time being i am winning the war against the floaters, but for how long?