toilets

it's a late night at work (i hate them, but sometimes you just have to sit here and do the work... not like someone else is going to do it for you....)
the diet of coffee and chocolate i have been on today (i am sure i have had some real food during the day but majority of what i have consumed has been calorie or caffeine rich) has meant a trip to the bogs for a very large number 2, would say it was a number 2 squared but i have no idea if you can do that in logs (boom boom - ah basil brush where are you now!)

any after depositing my load i do the reach for the toilet paper thing (subconsciously i have already checked that there is paper in the bog dispenser) but without fail i discover one of two things about the toilet dispenser.
1] it is either filled to the brim so that the drum of paper will not rotate in the dispenser so you have to claw at the paper to get any out. a design fault of magnificent proportions.
2] even when the drum of paper rotates freely some arcane mystical force seems to keep the paper attached at each end so you can't find a loose bit to pull on. once again leaving you to claw at the paper to allow you to wipe your arse.
why they don't make the drum of paper a little bit smaller than the dispenser so it rotates freely is beyond me, and why the paper can't just hang free rather than be of a virtual velcro style is beyond me....

about a month ago i was attending an electrnica club sprawl and had to use the bog in the rather plush meet bar the event was taking place. and like the club itself the toilet was swanky except the fact that one it was a thin and long toilet - so you could run the risk of being trapped in there, secondly if you were perchance to want to do a number 2 the toilet roll (with super soft paper) was over an arms length away leading to an annoying and, potentially, messy stretch, and if to add insult to injury the bog roll dispenser was also in an alcove - which added to the contortions you had to make to get to the paper.
as i say it was very soft paper - so perhaps this was the way to make sure that no used too much of it. or perhaps it the architect was a member of the spanish inquisition in a previous life....