custard

on one of my periodic health kicks: this is where i realise i am too fat and i eat too much junk food. 

sometimes my battle takes the form of digging up a pair of trainers and going for an early morning run. now i am not the most elegant of runners – there is no rhythmic pounding of the streets, no smooth gliding across the pavements. just lots of huff and puff and lurching and thudding from side to side.  for this reason i either run very early in the morning or very late at night: fewer people to scare and fewer people to laugh. 

sometimes my battle takes the form of changing my diet and eating responsibly. this should be easy except i hate anything to do with food preparation. besides do you know how good a packet of chocolate biscuits and a pint of cold milk taste? not to mention how well they fill you up. double win.

for the moment i am going the way of better food, and less food (like most fat bastards i eat more than i need to). no more cheap chocolate and cakes. much less cheap fizzy pop (well sainsbury’s cheap brand cola is only 25p a big bottle, so what if it doesn’t taste fantastic look at how much there is). cheap fresh fruit from the market – bananas, grapes, oranges – loads of them and still change in my pocket. more veg, less cheese. remember pasta is my friend. 

i can do this. 

there was a pretty immediate effect as my toilet habits had to change. big logs. 

then came a fall. look i don’t claim to have an iron will. i don’t claim to be above temptation, i know i am weak willed so that is why i agreed to have a weekend blow out – yes chocolate you have the weekends. so i was proud of myself when i walked by cream cakes and didn’t even look. who needs cream cakes?

then it happened. sainsbury’s just before closing. custard filled doughnuts. half-price. six of them. custard filled cheap doughnuts. i am a sucker for custard filled doughnuts. i love them. sainsbury’s to their credit make a lovely custard filled doughnut. at half-price i would have to be an ordained trappist monk to be able to resist. 

i am not.

i did not.

i got home. guilty, i admit. 

sat back to enjoy them, ready to savour all the badness that is so good about a custard filled sainsbury’s doughnut. lips licked in anticipation. yum yum. first succulent bite taken - mmm sugar, mmm oily baked dough. second bite: more sugar and strawberry jam. 

what!

strawberry jam, oh dear reader i was mortified. i had broken my good food pledge for just a jam doughnut. not a custard doughnut, a plain ordinary jam doughnut.

the fun had gone. the magic had gone. i didn’t enjoy finishing off the doughnuts. 

next time i will be stronger!

quote

funny the things that you read on the bog – there i was working up to doing a big job while reading the programme of a contemporary dance festival. what i know about modern dance could be written in block capitals on the head of a pin. still i am always looking for something new to experience, especially if it is free.

sadly none of the festival’s work is free.

among the articles in the programme is a q&a with korean american director young jean lee, she has created a show called ‘the shipment’ it is an exploration of the continuing effects of slavery.

in the programme she says “europe is much less aware of its racial issues than the usa – and the usa is not that aware. i can’t tell you how many europeans have told me, “we don’t have a race problem in our country” but when the only people of colour you see in a city are servants that city has a race problem.”

pardon?

it is such a ludicrously over the top statement that it undercuts her central argument.

while reading the short article i was struck by how racism has become very black and white (excuse the pun), that it is a simple case of whitey hating anyone of colour. when the fact of the matter is it doesn’t matter what colour you are you can easily find another group to hate. go among any racial group and sooner or later you will discover another racial group they hate. i know japanese who are not keen on chinese, thais who don’t like japanese, indians who don’t like africans, africans who don't like arabs and so on.

by reducing racism to just a white vs colour issue reduces any chance of eliminating racism while tacitly condoning the racism of others as somehow something lesser, when any such hatred demeans us all.

sun

it has only been a few days of sun and already i am hating it.

can we please have winter back? can we please have some cool air, rain, wind maybe some snow. what can i say i don’t like summer.

all summer means to me is sweat and sore runny eyes.

about the only thing that makes summer bearable is the joy of short skirts, yet even that is ruined by the fact that there are far too many podgy blokes wandering around with their tops off.

i don’t like summer.