it seems every government has to have one. new labour had prescott, the coalition has eric pickles.
mr. pickles is the communities secretary who is very keen on pushing 'localism' at people except in circumstances where the local people disagree and then it is all about the power of central government.
mr. pickles has a new wheeze - he wants to rent out the foyer of his office block to a well respected (and well heeled) chain retailer. he says it will bring money into the state's coffers, and as all good supporters of the coalition know we are in the middle of the worst deficit ever all caused by blah blah bloody fucking blah blah and we are all in it toblahblah.
some retail guru's have poured cold water over the idea (those simple naysayers) claiming that there isn't enough floor space to make it worthwhile.
they have no vision - mr. pickles does. he knows if it can work in his foyer then he can launch a range of starbucks (or such like) in everyone of the jobcentres in the country. not only can you sign on, not only can you get a coffee but you can also train for a career in the food industry.
once they have been cracked expect all the royal palaces to sport a coffee shop and supermarket or two.
think how much they could get if each of the members of parliament were sponsored - something like a cross-between a snooker player with one logo on the waistcoat and a formula 1 driver with lots plastered all over. you can see it now clegg stepping up to give his deputy leader speech festooned with the sponsorshp logos of the various universities who have raised their fees to £9k a year.
the house of commons would be brightened up by hanging large advertising banners from the roof. it would make money and let the country know who is really in charge.
once you have done that mr. pickles open up buck house to a retail chain - they must have enough space in there to have a small mall there.
however if you have seen mr. pickles you know there is one reason and one reason alone why he has decided to get a chain food store in there and it has nothing to do with deficit busting,
mr, pickles has decided that it is too far to walk in order to get a nice cheap sarnie, so he has decided to let the sandwiches and cakes come to him. after all it takes a great deal of work to get a body like mr. pickles.
just remember to make sure you don't have crumbs on your chin before your next appearance on local tv.
mr. pickles is the communities secretary who is very keen on pushing 'localism' at people except in circumstances where the local people disagree and then it is all about the power of central government.
mr. pickles has a new wheeze - he wants to rent out the foyer of his office block to a well respected (and well heeled) chain retailer. he says it will bring money into the state's coffers, and as all good supporters of the coalition know we are in the middle of the worst deficit ever all caused by blah blah bloody fucking blah blah and we are all in it toblahblah.
some retail guru's have poured cold water over the idea (those simple naysayers) claiming that there isn't enough floor space to make it worthwhile.
they have no vision - mr. pickles does. he knows if it can work in his foyer then he can launch a range of starbucks (or such like) in everyone of the jobcentres in the country. not only can you sign on, not only can you get a coffee but you can also train for a career in the food industry.
once they have been cracked expect all the royal palaces to sport a coffee shop and supermarket or two.
think how much they could get if each of the members of parliament were sponsored - something like a cross-between a snooker player with one logo on the waistcoat and a formula 1 driver with lots plastered all over. you can see it now clegg stepping up to give his deputy leader speech festooned with the sponsorshp logos of the various universities who have raised their fees to £9k a year.
the house of commons would be brightened up by hanging large advertising banners from the roof. it would make money and let the country know who is really in charge.
once you have done that mr. pickles open up buck house to a retail chain - they must have enough space in there to have a small mall there.
however if you have seen mr. pickles you know there is one reason and one reason alone why he has decided to get a chain food store in there and it has nothing to do with deficit busting,
mr, pickles has decided that it is too far to walk in order to get a nice cheap sarnie, so he has decided to let the sandwiches and cakes come to him. after all it takes a great deal of work to get a body like mr. pickles.
just remember to make sure you don't have crumbs on your chin before your next appearance on local tv.
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