50p

did you hear it?
the sound of fury that swept over the city and echoed through the countryside.
did you hear the billowing cry?
the siren song of misery and self pity that shook the nation.
did you hear it?
were you woken by the thunderclap of anger?
yes today was the day when the highest rate of tax was raised to 50p for those earning more than £150,000 a year. crikey how the experts moaned and whined.
hear them cry, hear them sob, hear them whinge. such a commotion you would think that they were being asked to work for minimum wage.
why us they asked? we are the wealth creators they told us. you can’t treat us like this they opine, we are special, we are the wealth creators. love us. if you tax us too much we will leave, we will take our money and wealth creation and go somewhere else.
do you know what my reply is? fuck off then and don’t let the door hit your arse on the way out.
funny thing about most of these globally mobile wealth creators they all seem to be in the financial industry and are ready to up sticks to geneva at the first sign of a tax hike (poor switzerland we give it phil collins, lewis hamilton and now some jumped up greedy accountants – does little to spruce up their already dull image). now correct me if i am wrong but isn’t the reason why the tax has been increased is because there were some shifty dealings going on in the financial industry to start with?
oh it was.
can’t expect them to bear any of the pain. that is for the little chap, the poor chap and the chap who is just doing ok.
seems that if you can claim to be a wealth creator it entitles you to take a big steaming pooh on the heads of everyone (that was just for cliff: politics and shit).
so how many people are affected by the new tax rate of 50p? well not me for a start. i would be doing naked cartwheels down the street if i were in a position to have to pay that much tax (and i promise now that if i am ever in a position where i have to pay the top rate of tax then i will indeed do naked cartwheels in the street for charity – you can take that to the bank). according to the bbc it is 300,000 people who will pay the top rate of tax out of the 29 million tax payers in britain.
oh my heart bleeds for them.
now i may have said this before, and i am sure i will say it again, these so called wealth makers can fuck off if they so wish. they may like to think that they are as rare as unicorns but we all know that really they are not.
in each of the offices that these people are in there is some young studly dudley who thinks that they can do the job cheaper and better. in any other set of jobs these roles would have been outsourced to india or china by now. it is a fallacy to believe that these people are irreplaceable: they are not.
for the time being they will squeal like stuck piggies, claim that their wealth trickles down to the rest of us and argue that raising their tax is disastrous for the rest of us.
still i have a solution.
they are rich, they like to spend their money (after all that is the only way it can trickle down to rest of us), so let’s raise vat on very luxury items. you want a pair of jimmy choo’s? then have a dose of 20% vat dear girl. you want to deck yourself out in something or another from stella mccartney, well pay that 20% vat. you want a tag heuer watch that may are may not have been made with left over parachute material from suez crisis and a bit of chocolate some bloke nibbled on while in colditz, then it is time for you to pay 20% vat. if you are going to sit down in one of gordon ramsey’s fucking restaurants to eat some of his fucking expensive food then you can fucking well pay the 20% vat.
meanwhile the rest of us who are buying our clothes from primark and our food from tesco don’t have to worry about vat being imposed on food or clothes.
not only have i made vat progressive but i have also allowed the rich to shop till they drop knowing that they are helping the rest of us to come out of recession.
they get to stay here (ok that is a downside to it).
they get to spend their money on pointless luxury goods.
they get to tell us all how their wealth trickles down. .
they get to remind us how they are wealth creators.
money comes into the treasury.
we are all happy.

just another simple reason why i should be in charge.