career

one of the many challenges i face in 2008 is the possibility of searching out a new career. it is a pretty daunting prospect, as i have no discernable skills, aside from an ability to swear in any given situation
but i have a possible career in mind.
oh yes i do.
my inspiration has come from the most bizarre of things: the television. no i am not thinking about becoming an actor – though i would love to be an extra that mugs it up in the backgrounds of dramas. oh how i would emote, how i would give background, depth and motivation to my character – i may only be visible at the edge of your screen but you would know me, you would care for me and you would want to see me again and again. or then again maybe not. (though i do have to confess to a simple desire to be an extra in the 24 movie and be one of the bad guys that jack bauer tops…)
nor am i thinking of a career in such programme genres as bid-up tv (which is my current obsession). while i am able to talk for hours about nothing i am not sure i can do it without swearing, nor do i think i can whip up the enthusiasm to sell ingersoll watches, a company that has been making watches for over 100 years but has yet to make a decently designed one.

no i have decided i want to be a broadcaster. i am not strictly sure i know what it means to be a broadcaster. the only time i ever seen people being billed as broadcasters is when they appear on programmes that witter on about the worst/best/lest/most 10/100 programmes/people/songs/films/gazelles (oh ok i made the last one up).
the “broadcasters” (as i am pretty sure this is a made up profession) are never people i have heard of and seem to have an ability to be incredibly smug about their opinion about the chosen subject, the opinion is never one about the subjects worth – but is always about how the “broadcaster” was hip enough to spot the thing before anyone else (if it is a best of show) or clever enough to point out how awful it was it in the face of public opinion (if it is a worst of show).
another aspect of what the “broadcaster” has to do is sneer at someone who has done something and then point out how bad they were at doing it. so they will have a pop at someone like victoria beckham for not being much good while the most they can muster is trip to the west end on a media blag to posh spice’s world tour.
the rewards of being a “broadcaster” are immense not only do you get to give pithy soundbites on the best/worst shows (and laugh at your own jokes) you also get to appear on programmes such as streetcred sudoku (no i am not making that up).

but hold on i can hear you cry. pat, you are saying, how can you be a broadcaster, what have you ever done to justify such a high falutin' title as broadcaster.
my answer is simple: in this digital age dear reader i am broadcasting to the whole world (well actually it is just to you (and that qualifies it as narrowcasting but let us not split hairs here….) via my blog.
so i am qualified to join the ranks of z list people whom have pointless opinions that they are happy to share with people who really are not that interested.

2008 iampat broadcaster coming to you.

i know you can’t wait.