tragicomedy

every once in a while a story comes along and you know your reaction to it is just wrong, a little like the time i cheered when i heard about di. to many my outburst was seen as tasteless but to me it was the full flowering of republicanism.

needless to say the recent, sad, events on the 25 bus has had me chortling.
ok i admit i am not a nice person…

for those of you who have missed the story, it goes a little like this.
early morning and a 25 bus (it is a bendy one) is going to ilford. two mates get off of the bus, one mate falls under the bus, is dragged for a mile and is dead. end of story.
it is tragic, there is the loss of life.
but all i can think of is what was his mate doing when he fell under the bus? was it a case of “ha ha that is a jolly jape, i’ll see you at the pub tonight?” or was it a case of “mm where did he go? oh well i had better get a move on or i am not going to get my breakfast” or “i am sure mr. x was with me a minute a go. i must be imagining things!”
by all that is holy how do you not notice that your mate has disappeared? how don’t you notice or hear him fall under the bus?
mind you if you haven’t noticed him disappear under the bus then at least you can pretend you couldn’t have done something.
oh what could he have done pat, not like he is a superhero from the comics you read, i can hear you sigh.
well how about banging madly on the doors of that bus amigo?
how about running to the front of the bus and shouting at the driver, my friend?
or even just phoning the police, how about that then dear reader?

well it seems none of that happened and the poor sod was dragged for a mile, until a passer-by noticed the body.

i have been a frequent critic of the 25, all because of the attitude of the drivers (“oh i know what i will do: drive really slowly and wait at every stop. mmm why do the passengers get annoyed at me?”) i have never thought the bus was any less safe than the other buses i use (at least there is never that terrible moment when you make a tit of yourself and cause distress to other passengers as they have to hide their titters and guffaws as you (well i) fall down the stairs of the double decker.
the doors of the 25 are pretty wide, and that time in the morning not that many people on there. it is not that hard to step up on the floor of the bus.
quite how you get yourself into a position where you end up under the bus is beyond me. even more so how you do it and not be noticed by your mate remains a mystery.

to be honest when i was told about this i snorted as i thought i was being told a pack of lies. it just didn’t seem possible. it still doesn’t.

mind you it does remind me of another story.
one of my work colleagues, sk, had been out with his family for a drive. they return home. unpack the car. picnic things back in the house. wife sorted out. kids checked. dog dealt with.
all seems ticketyboo.
nope need something from the shops.
off goes sk in the family car. tootle down the street. people looking. people staring. people gesticulating. keep driving. get to shop.
oh now sk can see what the fuss and bother was.
dog is attached to lead. lead is stuck in car door. dog has had to run after the car. dog has been dragged by car. not much of a dog now, more a broken bloody mess.

again this is a story that made me laugh like a drain (it shouldn’t have done, but like i said before i am not a nice person). all credit to sk, if something like that happened to me i would keep quiet about it. he was happy to tell everyone and the story has taken on the elements of legend.
shed no tears – the dog survived, sk has never said if it has ever stopped quaking when he gets near to it.