joke

dead duck

a woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgery. as she
lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and
listened to the bird's chest. after a moment or two, the vet shook
his head sadly and said, "i'm so sorry, cuddles has passed away." the
distressed owner wailed, "are you sure? "yes, i am sure. the duck is
dead," he replied. "how can you be so sure," she protested. "i mean,
you haven't done any testing on him or anything. he might just be in
a coma or something." the vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left
the room, and returned a few moments later with a black labrador
retriever. as the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood
on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and
sniffed the duck from top to bottom. he then looked at the vet with
sad eyes and shook his head. the vet patted the dog and took it out,
and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat. the cat
jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird. the
cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
strolled out of the room.
the vet looked at the woman and said, "i'm sorry, but as i said, this
is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." then the vet
turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill
which he handed to the woman. the duck's owner, still in shock, took
the bill. "$150!", she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is
dead?!!" the vet shrugged. "i'm sorry. if you'd taken my word for it,
the bill would have been $20, but what with the lab report and the
cat scan ....."