people

i am not a people person (those who know me will think that a bit of an understatement – more a misanthrope they will cry) and this is somewhat odd given my mix of christian and socialist beliefs, perhaps i would be better being a conservative?

anyway why am i making this confession now? well part of it is that recently i have been going to lots of events, how i love free music events and venues. and the more of these i go to more i end up people watching and being amazed and stunned by those around me.

and before i go any further let me point out that i realise that i am socially dysfunctional, that most of the time i am less than civil and often like the sound of my own voice but have little to say. with that confession made i am also happy to admit that often i prefer my own company.

so there i have been recently sitting down chin stroking away to a mix of laptop and lo-fi avant-garde guitar music at places such as the foundry. around me people just do things that seem to me to be odd (and i fully admit it is all subjective and more than likely i am the one who is behaving oddly).

while i am supping my orange juice and listening i notice a very cute blonde (oh ok emma i know i shouldn’t letch – but at my age it’s the only pleasure i have…) she seems to be waiting for someone or isn’t quite sure what she is doing in the bar (and it’s not like the music wasn’t very good – it was), so she walked in and out a couple of times and then eventually sat down. shortly after she had sat down she was approached by an older bloke, blonde, goatee beard and baggy white shirt. when he sat down beside her i thought lucky bloke to have such a pretty friend. it was only later that i realised that actually he had just gone over to her in order to chat her up. a part of me was impressed as i just don’t have that much front to just plonk myself down next to a total stranger and start chatting to them.
to her credit she humoured him for awhile but the first opportunity she did do a runner on him.
he didn’t seem to upset or surprised by that.
shortly afterwards he was on the phone to his ex missus in the midst of what sounded like a huge barney about all manner of things from her kicking him out of the house, to her taking their child away, to her wanting money, various cuss words were uttered. this took place over several phones calls as they each hung up on the other one. to be honest it sounded like a totally shitty situation that they both found themselves in.
it’s another joy of the mobile phone – it brings your arguments to the rest of the world. me i think there are some things that should be done privately, that is one of them.

mind you there are times when an argument kicks off in a public space – as it did that night between a gay couple. they were sitting behind me and one of them spent the best part of 30 minutes berating and belittling the other one. it would have been so bad if it wasn’t for the fact his voice carried so pretty much everyone in the bar was aware of his opinion of his partner.

that particular night was topped off by me ending up being chatted to by a rather attractive blonde. she approached me because i was writing in my journal and wanted to know what i was writing (it was a marketing plan – how dull) as she wanted to encourage her girlfriend to write. we chatted for a bit, i gave her some advice (yeah yeah those who can do those who can’t teach…) and i hope her girlfriend is writing now.
now i would never be able to approach someone like that – partly it’s an innate shyness and partly it’s because i just think after the first few words what would i have to say? but when it happens like that it is fun we had a pleasant chat, made my night and i even got a death stare from one of her female friends.

another night in the foundry i had to listen to a women talking utter drivel, because her voice was a slow down version of foghorn leghorns – so it didn’t matter where you were in the bar you couldn’t help but hear her, yet from her point of view she was just talking normally to her mates. she also had an unfortunately delivery where she repeated, i say she repeated some of her conversation over and over again as if repetition made it more impressive – it didn’t.
(i won’t mention the two late 20s blokes who were talking about bands like oasis, blur and suede as if they were still cutting edge… no i just wanted to slap them…)

recently i even got stopped on the tube by a drunken lady (who facially looked like a very very haggard tracey emin, physically though she looked like she was in need of a good meal, well several) she proceeded to tell me her story. how she had signed herself out of hospital to go and feed a mates dog, how the mate hadn’t told her he had taken the dog, how this was bad because she had travelling dvds and this was going to kill her (nope i don’t know what she was talking about and decided not to ask) she told me she had used up all her giro in dog food, she didn’t drink (it’s a given about alcoholics is that they think if they say they don’t drink or haven’t had one that day it makes it true and you can’t smell the booze on them – i remember my mum saying (often) she hadn’t had a drink when she clearly had a mug (yes a mug) of scotch in the table ..) again i didn’t point out to her she was sizzled. then i heard about her husband leaving her for another woman, she didn’t mind that as she couldn’t have sex with him (those travelling dvds again) but she hated him because he didn’t just tell her he was sleeping around he lied to her, so she had broken his walkman and some other stuff and was waiting in his flat for him. she didn’t mind lying to police of judges as they can take away your life, but was straight with other people, she swore a few times and then said pardon her language (after which it was exaggerated whispered swearing behind her hand). frankly i am not sure what the rest of the people on the tube thought of her but i was happy i had a chance to chat and laugh with her. i have no idea if she appreciated it, but i hope it made her smile a little bit.
i was also impressed by the fact she didn’t try to tap me up. classy woman.

i suppose the most radical approach i have had was while i was listening to laptoppy music at a club run by a friend of a friend. again there i was chin stroking and admiring the return key solo followed by the space bar crescendo when i was approached by an elfin blonde, she strode the length of the club made a beeline for me to ask, well almost demand: “who are you?” the answer was “no one, but my name is pat. what’s your name?” “vika” was the reply and then she left. now i must confess i was a little shocked by the whole event but just chalked it up as “oh the world is full of strange people). my pal joel on the other hand decided to run after her and get me her phone number. (thanks joel).
there is no relationship with vika, we occasionally bump into each at gigs, clubs or record stores and exchange a few words. she is very pretty, slightly odd and from east europe – i have to say it’s a winning combination. however vika is not someone who returns calls or emails seemingly preferring to let chance rule when we next see each other.
so sad to say when she walked passed me in tescos this evening i didn’t say hello. now partly this was down to shock at seeing her in my local tescos on a sunday evening and partly i thought well if you didn’t spot me then i will let you get on with your doings undisturbed by me.
yeah i know – dumb and stupid and yes i did regret it. but that brings me back to where this all started i am not a people person.
i enjoy the chance interaction when they occur but i am not going out of my way to start one up. so long may free gigs continue as they seem to be places where people will talk to people like me.