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Tuesday, September 20, 2016


if there is one thing commuting is sure to do it is guaranteed to warp your outlook on modern life. to be fair it doesn't take much to get me whining but the current daily commute does give me much ammunition to curse modern life. not quite in the first world problem category but not far short of it. (i hasten to add that i would ban any and all users of 'oh that is such a first world problem' as a sneery put down that implies that your worry is somehow unworthy of merit because there is a leper with no running water and an inability to tune into the latest justin bieber song living on an island off the east african coast and until we are all living in the world of milk and honey you have no right to complain. sorry but a problem is a problem and if it is your problem then it is more important to you than the condition of water rights in venezuela).

anyway back to the moan.

my current moan about modern life is, if you can believe it, luggage.

yes you read that correctly: luggage,

i know – seriously what harm is there in luggage? (i mean other than in smuggling drugs and hiding dead bodies).

all i can say is that whoever invented the trolley bag i hope they were vastly compensated for their nifty piece of ingenuity. if there is cosmic and divine justice out there then this inventor has a ring of hell all to themselves. if they can navigate their way around the circle then they can leave hell – they just have survive the hordes of demons with trolley bags.

i get that this putting wheels on luggage makes life easier, after all why carry it when you can pull or push it. no straining muscles just glide along without a care in the world. now bags can be of any size, unlike in the past where they could only be as big as you could carry – now you can have more bags than you can shake a fanny pack at.

commuting and holiday making so much easier now.

(and while at this point of the moan – what is the deal with laptop trolley bags? just how lazy do you have to be not to carry your fucking laptop?)

nor would it surprise me to discover that somewhere out there events featuring different sized trolley bags are appearing in x-games events.

hold on a cotton picking minute pat – you seem to be praising them. yes i suppose i am. i guess i am taking the nla – national luggage association - point of view: it isn't luggage that causes problem but that it is the users.

look i just want to walk in the station getting to or from the train or tube without having to spend time looking out for someone who had a trolley bag drifting 5 feet behind them, or decides to change directions at the drop of a hat – but they have a turning circle of twenty feet because of a long handled bag they have little control over. or they walk really slowly and the bag drifts from their control so instead of taking up the space of one person all of a sudden they are a moving but variable barrier in the packed hustle and bustle of the station. users walk with all the purpose and lack of care as mobile phone users – that certainty that it is not their responsibility to watch where they are going – but it is down to you to watch where they are going and to take the necessary action in order to move out of the way, any collision is your fault. or they have two bags which they have to constantly change the hand that is control them (why) or they suddenly stop as if they realise that they are in the wrong place at the wrong time.

yeah i guess it isn't the bags that i detest but the selfish wankers who use them with little regard for others.

i could suggest that people who use them have to get a license and training to use the bags. that there should be checks on people before they are issued with a bag – are they competent to use the bags they are using. that there should be limitations on the bags that people can get based on height and strength, or the number each person can be in charge of at any one time.

sadly these sensible precautions would be shouted down by the nla and so any old fuckwit can go out and with little or no training can purchase a big arsed trolley bag and cause havoc in a crowded space. i have to face it the imbecile with the trolley bag is here to stay and i just have to adjust my life around it – modernity not all it is cracked up to be.

the inventor still deserves to go to hell!

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