jobs

it is a funny old world out there in the post employment void.
looking for work is very easy, finding something you want to (or can do) is less so.

the people at the jobcentres are not really there to help; they are just there to tick a few boxes. ask them about something and they just look at you blankly. just recently one of them mentioned to me that my local idea store (the new fancy name for a library, which means that yes you can go to a dance studio, just don't expect to find the book you are looking for) runs a weekly job club. it would have been nice of them to tell me that months ago, but i guess it is a secret.

those of you lucky enough not to have to endure the jobcentre may not know about the jobpoint machines. these allow you to see what new jobs there are. very basic technology, could easily do with a revamp, but let us not go there.
sometimes the jobs are a little surprising. mostly it is because there are job agencies who put their jobs through the job centre. so there are the occasional why on earth are you listing that 100k a year job as vp of an american hedge fund in the local jobcentre, surely there are head-hunters who deal with that.
or the time there was a call out for a nuclear safety inspector. again a fairly specialised job, i am figuring there is a database of the people who can do, even so it is nice to know i could apply for it and just doctor my cv a little bit to cover up the skills i don't have.
maybe i should apply for the job as a jihadist analyst. i reckon there might be a lot of travel involved in that one. though the one that just asks for international military analysis sounds much safer.
even the 2012 olympics have several jobs going in what strike me as key areas – the wrestling and modern pentathlon teams are looking for managers. call me stupid but you would have thought that they would have had them in place by now. guess no one loves wrestling or modern pentathlon. maybe i will give it a couple of weeks and then i will apply. after all how hard can it be?

still i was heartened to hear today that at least one man isn’t keen on giving up his job. seems fabio capello likes the job and seems keen to stay in place. can’t blame him, he only gets £6 million a year, so we know it is a labour of love. given that all the coverage of the world cup indicated that the players were calling the shots, rather than the manager (yes i am thinking about you david james and john terry) the money the manager gets is money for old rope.
so if capello goes i think i will throw my hat in the ring. i will offer to do it for less, i will guarantee we won’t do very well (it is called promise less, deliver more – though i am not sure about the delivery part) and i will be happy to let the players pick themselves.
i see it as a draw draw win lose situation.
even better it is one more off the unemployment statistics – iain duncan smith will love it.