all i can say is that this trip had better be worth it. it is causing me untold grief. not to mention how much it is costing me. for those keeping score (and i know there are a few of you)i am being sent to new york because of work.
i have decided in my infinite wisdom to extend the trip and make a bit of a holiday out of it. so far so good. except nothing is ever easy in patworld. need a passport. that had it's ups and downs but has (hopefully, fingers crossed) been resolved.
shit i suddenly realise i should have a credit card. i don't have one the debit card has done me proud in the past. but hoots mon i may need the extra spendy bendy of a credit card. ok ok it is all last minute i know. but hey in for a penny in for a pound. i call my bank. well not so much the bank but the call centre of my bank. i use my usual tactics - look i know i am a bit of a tit but can you help me....
before they can even answer that a few security questions: address - hey i know that. score one for me. date of birth - easy. bullseye. how long have you been living at the address. there's your answer. spot on. are you in full time employment. a breeze. i am a winner.
so now i can get onto my request. i clearly state can i apply for a credit card online and get the card within a week? i stress i need it within the week or else it is no good to me. sure sure sure. time for the checks. date of birth (hey i know this one), address (and this one.... aske me something harder), inside leg measurement, favourite chocolate all those things asked and answered. i am on a roll, i am feeling good.
i am king of the fucking world.
my application has been accepted. wooo hooo.
i am king of the fucking universe.
see me roar.
the paperwork will be with you in a few days time and you have a cooling off period, please return the paperwork in the envelope provided........ so not getting it in a week. i am deflated, i am the hindenburg but without the flames i am crashing and burning.
i want to scream.
ok plan b. debit card should be ok as it is a visa card. get the overdraft applied and have it at a high level so that i have a security blanket in case something goes wrong (and "going wrong" are my middle names...). can i confrim your address and date of birth. they hadn't changed since the last time i was asked. now it might be me but i am not sure you are going to catch out a big time terrorist or money launderer by seeing if checking his date of birth, address, period of residence is the same if you ask 20 times. what it does is irritate the customer.
anyway i have been told i now have an overdraft. the plan is not to spend it.
as for the credit card who knows - i might apply for it, when the paperwork comes through, or i might treat it like junk mail.
what else can go wrong. what else can hinder me.
shit need to go and get a suitcase.
6 comments:
I have a lovely flurescent pink suitcase you can borrow. Came in handy about 10 years ago in Dusseldorf - the screens telling you which belt to go to had broken down but there was a blacony looking down onto them. Very difficult to work out which black case is yours but not so a shocking pink one.
thanks for the offer and i am tempted but i would be scared i'd lose it.
(oddly nick offered to lend me a warm coat for the trip. turned him down for the same reason).
but i was going to go for neon colours for the reason you pointed out. as i know something will go wrong....
i can feel a trip to woolies coming on.
Mine came from the Co-op!
That's the whole point - you cannot lose it. You are, seriously, more than welcome to it.
Do they issue passports to Wookies?
I think you should have accepted the coat offer - I can imagine you looking like a cross between Sasquatch and Frank Butcher...
Jay - only if you can find a professional (eg teacher) daft enough to countersign the application for you.
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