as some of you may have noticed i am not big on kids. most of the reason i have a downer on children is to do with how their parents have brought them up (or more accurately) how they ignore them, and treat them either as a fashion accessory or just an inconvenience.
a parent has the two most important jobs in the world when it comes to children. the first is to socialise the child into the mores and norms of society so that they grow up to be pleasent members of the community. instead most of the parents i see around my local area are more interested in shouting and swearing at their kids, verbally battering them.
now i have been a stepdad and i have to say i never thought i would miss it, but i did. children have a way of looking at the world which is so different from adults that it is invigorating being around them (the ask the questions no one has asked before, well we know that is not the case mr teacher advert, because if that was the case then the teachers would be flumoxed and unable to answer this truly original piece of thought!) plus a child in your life means you have no option but to look at the world in a completely different way than you did before.
and i can sympathise with parents who break up and have to contest custody of the child.
but there is something that stops me from respecting the men in the father for justices cause.
why pat why?
well part of it is to with the second most important thing a parent does - and that is to embarass their children at every oppurtunity when they are of the age when being remined that they are little soldiers or that they wore spider-man pjs to bed in front of their friends is mortyfying. most parents have learnt this from their parents, and it is a learn process that they are happy to pass on to the new generation, who in turn pass it own. the embarassments that parents bestow on children may change of they years but by the end of it ll the children have come through it a little stronger than before.
the fathers for justice mob seem to want to jump over the teach your child to be a worthy member of society and just spend time humiliating them and setting bad examples for their children.
so there is your dad dressed in a saggy batman or spider-man costume. oh look he is on national tv because he is stuck up a pole somewhere, he is swinging from a crane somewhere....
and of course there are the egg throwers who have targeted ms kelly, and who would be the first to complain if she threw eggs at them....
i mean what sort of example is it to set to kids.
4 comments:
It's a pleasure to be a Dad, if only now that I can embarrass them in front of their peers.
Think of all those 'Bad Dad' jokes/puns that I've been storing up, that I can now unleash on my Eldest's friends when I pick him up from school.
I don't get much pleasure in life (schyeah right Shep) but telling awful gags to 9 year olds is one of them!
On a more serious note though - HUGE responsibility. Your kids look up to you, and look to you for guidance on EVERYTHING. I mean I'm wrong on most subjects so this really is tricky. I even voted Lib Dem once.
I can't see F4J doing themselves any favours when Mummy and her new partner are there watching TV with the kids saying "Look what your stupid Father is up to now - he'll ladder those tights climbing up there...".
Another slightly unrelated but important fact you're never told is how frightening it is being a parent. The fear that anything could happen to your young & vulnerable kids in this big scary unkind world is one of the things that literally keeps me up at night. The feeling this leaves me with at times makes me wonder if I would even want to be a parent knowing the fear you have to constantly carry round - not fear for yourself, but for your child.
Scary thoughts. (Oh and they break all your stuff too, which is really annoying)
cliff i agree with you fatherhood has so much going for it. when the ex kicked me out the last thing i thought i would miss was going to be being a step-dad.
during the years that i was a parent i learnt a lot about myself (and it is the thing i am most proud of: that i was a half way decent parent).
there is tremondous responsibility to it.
i suppose that is where my problems with parents kick in. too many see kids as a right, too many treat their kids as being an accessory. consequently they often raise crap kids.
i am always impressed by good parents as i know it is not an easy thing to.
still you are getting to embarrass them. it;s worth all the grief they put you through.
I do love being a Dad - and any negative feelings are quickly dissipated by the thought that every morning when I leave the house for work, my youngest shouts out through the letterbox after me "I love you Daddy!".
i know what you mean. the ex's kid once told me i was more of a dad to him than his dad was.
how i choked up at that moment.
(oddly it was shortly after that she kicked me out...)
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