desire

want, need, desire are all strong words and all strong states of being. at some point or another we have all been struck by desire - it might have been for a thing or for a person, but we have all suffered under the yoke of desire.
that heartwrenching mind numbing feeling that you just must have that "thing", it goes beyond a mere wanting, it becomes an all important, all invasive necessity. without it you just know your life will not be complete, that there is something missing from your life, you have an empty void that is just waiting to be filled with the "thing" you desire.
it doesn't matter if the "thing" is big or small, if it is material, practical or is emphemeral the strength of the desire will be the same.
for a short time the desire will burn with the ferocity of the sun, the must have item will consume your thoughts, you will look at the item in books, magazines, websites, tv shows etc - all in the name of research (but lets be honest it is just porn by a different name. this is something that the collectors amongst us will truly understand eh jim, kenny, paul and richard.... oh yeah and me).
fortunately desire is not a permanent thing and for most of us it dies out and we soon realise that without the lottery win we are unlikely to be able to have that particular object of desire and it may forever remain out of reach.
oh what happens to the void you spoke of pat? (curses you are a clever bunch!)
well as we all know nature abhors a vacuum and desire detests a void so it is soon filled with a new object of desire.
(marxists might see this as being commodity fetishism while the capitalists might see this as the working of supply and demand. me i think is a part of human nature and it is there to keep life interesting.)

although i have admitted to myself i will never have a complete collection of marvel comics, and have settled for owning every essential trade paperback that marvel publishes. i still look longingly at bagged and boarded back issues that i don't own. while i know that i can't afford that plasma screen tv it doesn't mean i won't look at them when i am in an electrical goods shop, or the penthouse overlooking the tate modern (which is all well and good for the tourists as i know that if i could afford one of them i would just walk around my loft apartment naked, it is not a pretty sight i can tell you and i am sure that the tourists would be mentally scarred for seeing it - but then it is there own fault for looking in).
why do i even think about these things? well i have to know what i am going to do with the lottery win when it comes in!)

so my current desires are
1] nikon digital slr. the d100 is in my reach but while i am dreaming about it the d2x looks pretty sweet.
2] apple laptop the 14-inch ibook but i wouldn't say no to the 17-inch powerbook.
3] complete set of bootlegs from the bands led zeppelin, pink floyd, rush, frank zappa and king crimson.
4] a young lady who will.... (lets not go there shall we).

the sad thing is i know that even as i write this that not all of the above are attainable, and that even once i have gotten one of them it will be replaced with something else.

perhaps it is time to stop chasing the desires and learn to live the simple life?




nah